Bonding with me...
My childhood was filled with memories of my aunt's and their
families visiting us. We lived in a small town Vellore and they lived in
cities chennai ,Bangalore and hyderabad.
We had plenty of space to play, had our own house and a pet dog and walking was
the most commonly used mode of transport to reach the bus stand and take a bus.
My mothers sisters
lived in cities and my father's sisters lived just a street next to ours
and they also had the same life style like us. Our next generation of children
alias we are now living in cities because of our employment . My connects with
my aunts were primarily with food,songs,outings and dresses. My mother having
been educated in Marathi medium and then to english during her BSc,BEd, she was
a Hindi teacher . Aam Ras
Poori,Pitla,Sabudana Kitchidi,chicken biriyani,mutton pepper fry,fish
fry,prawns curry were prepared during my aunt's visits. we played Hindi movies
and listened to old hindi songs and had outings to Sathanur dam or just to our
Pedamma(Mother's elder sister)'s house who lived on the other end of vellore.
One of my aunt was into saree business and so our bonding was with the clothing
.
Now, I have all my aunt's on facebook and whats app . They
all have become tech savvy and now we also share our thoughts and ideas across
this so called virtual world. We dont connect much these days like we used to
and our bonding is on a thought process. As we age, we also become different
individuals and I became a pure vegetarian.
Now my connects are only on facebook and occasionally when we meet , I prefer
to have Aam Ras poori just to get connected to them. I have lost one of my
aunts recently and she was the one who took me to school on Day 1 and left me
behind those gates where all children were crying and I have always hated her
for being so unkind to me, but when I look back at what she had gone through in
her life and what I learnt from her, am awakened by that thought.
My aunt the youngest of all my mother's siblings died due to
cardiac arrest leaving behind two girls who are matured to take care of their
own lives. My aunt lost her mother when
her age was just a single digit number and she was brought up by my
mother who also left her with my grandpa as my mother got married to my father
and had to raise a family of her own. My aunt had a late marriage and she
settled in Bangalore and fate took her as a widow when she was barely 40 ,
children had their own ways of learning curves and she went on to live for
another 10 years with lots of health complications. My connect with her is only
through my cousins now who lost their parents and they have evolved into
someone who takes care of themselves.
How vital it is to connect to each other ? I certainly miss
those wonderful days of connects where we all used to have 'Chai Muddai' - A
handful of rice. A lot of food was left out after cooking for 15+ people and at
the end of the day, we used to go to the terrace and under the moon light my
aunt's and my mother used to mix all the left over food in a big bowl and have pappad
and pickle ready and would keep rice balls on our tiny palms and we would eat
it sharing a joke and watching the
gentle moon taking a picture of us.Followed by that was play,hide and seek with
so many of our neighbour kids on the street.
Life is all about memories and am only building it. The
recent death of Actress Sridevi is a shock to many, the truth being how fragile
life is. With my work very demanding these days because of our project go live,
I cannot explain how those 2 hours of music during saturday and sunday does to
me. I feel the same connection among all
those children who sing with me and the teacher who is very patient and willing
to teach us , and my new singing companion is Anuj who is a 12+ year old boy of
a friend and me and Anuj go together to the music class and our drive is all
up's and down's deep into the tall green trees and houses all far apart and a
few cars on the road, we go across a pond where there are ducks and green
fields where sheeps gaze as we listen to 'Thiruppamalai' taught in the class. I
exchange conversations with Anuj asking him about his class and we talk about
sheep and the nature as we drive back home. This is my connection today , with
nature,music,computer,facebook,whats app , and yoga and meditation and making
fresh bonds in this place where I live now.
Posted 26th February by Anitha Babu
Labels: Aunt Internet age Uncle
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FEB
4
COCO - Trauma Informed Outreach Training
Trauma Informed Outreach Training at Seattle - Feb 2-4 2018
It was a blessing to be a part of this program where one
gets to feel pain and healing within a group of people who are not known to
each other and want to connect with each other and understanding trauma
scientifically and ways of manifestation and coping skills.
It was a great
experience because of the below points
1. Circle game
of non-judgment where one gets rid of guilt and shame
2. Understanding
what kids go through and their coping skills
3. How to
understand our own trauma
4. Smell and Sound are memory keepers of our
trauma so one has to be very vigilant on them
5. Mirroring
Technique of Always listening without judging
6. Yoga poses
where one sweats and stretches and releases trauma.
7. Hurt people
Hurt, Heal people Heal..
8. Group home,
Juvenile kids – How to deal with them
9. How to wash
off our own carriers of energy after connecting with kids who hold so much pain
and have not healed them
1. How do I take
this learning experience way back to my country and do workshops on Trauma
Informed Outreach Training
Posted 4th February by Anitha Babu
Labels: COCO Healing trauma Yoga
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DEC
20
Aruvi Tamil Movie
Aruvi came into my Watch list after I read a few reviews on
facebook . Aruvi is for sure free flowing like the river Aruvi showcasing
realities of life, be it hard or kind or soft. One can watch Aruvi for the
below reasons:
1. For the heroine Aditi Balan,Story,Director,song lyrists
2.If you are a human
or trying to become one
Aruvi is the name of the heroin , her playfulness adds
humour to the movie.Aruvi can eliminate many perspectives from one's life on
how to look at life and way to live it. No Spiritual gyaan, yet very gentle and
cold , its like the under currents that is beneath the river but nothing on the
surface.
Aruvi has connected many many of our lives who have watched
the movie and just like a river merges into the ocean, it takes you to that one
point , the center where we all feel the purpose of life.
I didnt want to write anything about the movie, because I
want you to go to that center point and experience it yourselves.
Posted 20th December 2017 by Anitha Babu
Labels: Tamil Movie Aruvi
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DEC
17
My Experiences with Maha Periyava - Part 2
Please join me to get drenched into the Ocean of Compassion
that is Maha Periyava , my sole protector in this Kaliyuga.
It was the year 2013, I was working in Accenture and I took
local train to travel to work at Perungalathur. The super fast train to and
from Chengalpet will stop at West
Mambalam and many times I had to get down and walk my way to kodambakkam
while I enjoy walking the busy streets of West Mambalam station road that bustles
with flower vendors,vegetable vendors,Book shops that sell academic to
spiritual books, music shops and movie CD shops and mess that serves food with
coffee aroma all over and Bakshanam shops that sell savories . There are a lot
of photo frames shops that sell pictures of all Hindu god's and goddess and
saints.
I have walked this path and road for more than a year and
one day I got down from the train at west mambalam station and walked along the
same shops , as I was passing through the photo frames shop I saw a picture
below , and I went to the shop keeper and asked 'Intha Photo Vennum..'( I need
this photo). He saw me and asked 'Maha Periyava photo va? and looked at me
differently, I was not comfortable and brought the picture and came home and I
used to light a oil lamp to Sadhguru every day morning and evening and I kept
the photo which I brought in there .
I dont know who Maha periyava is/was? I simply got the photo
because I was attracted to it. Then somehow I got to watch 'Mahangalum
adisiyangakalum' from Vijaya TV at 5.30pm and used to rush back from work. I
used to cry thinking how I have missed visiting such a great saint. My father
took me to so many saints for darshan but how did he miss Maha Periyava?
My mother was in my sister's house taking care of my
sister's son and my house was filled me with me, Sadhguru and Maha Periyava and
I used to talk to them just like my family. Tell them my problems, Pray to
them, beg them, sometimes order them, cry and laugh with them. I think one can
become mad if we constantly be in such company like Maha Periyava, and behave
like he is living with us in our own house.
I shifted to another company because of unfortunate events
and I graced Sadhguru's Ananda Alai program in chennai and slowly people who
are very close to periyava started coming into my lives.
I met Anu whose parents are very devoted to Periyava , Karpagam
madam, her husband is PT Mani sir;s grandson and periyava used to go and stay
in their house when he camped in chennai, Shanthi Akka a very principled women
who upholds dharma and a very good friend and guide for me.
When I came to seattle , Periyava introduced me to Priya who
introduced me to Vedapuri Maama's daughter and Mappillai and I was blessed to
visit the padukai and take their divine blessings in seattle.
so when periyava can come to a person who was walking on the
road, then one must imagine his ocean of compassion and to what extent he will
go to protect his kula people and people who do not belong to his kula too.
Periyava is beyond religion, caste,gender according to me.
The way I have experienced him , there is every chance that
my interpretation is proved wrong but its an experience deep within me and it
will be ALIVE within me for many many births.
All I ask on this Anusham Day Dec 16th 2017 is , Periyava
Please dont leave this GURUDASI, I do not have anything else to look up to and
no one else who will come for me to rescue me in this kaliyuga except you.I
bought this photo with me to seattle and till date light a lamp .
My humble pranams to Periyava for giving me an opportunity
to write this blog. There are many miracles in my life, and I would like to
keep it to myself and do not disclose.
HARA HARA SHANKARA JAYA JAYA SHANKARA!
Posted 17th December 2017 by Anitha Babu
Labels: Maha Periyava
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NOV
20
My Experiences with Maha Periyava - Part 1
Hara Hara Shankara Jaya Jaya Shankara
November 19th 2017 - A special day in my life. Maha Periyava
Padukai from New Jersey was brought to Seattle and we celebrated Anusham here
in Seattle. Devotees pooled as whats app messages were exchanged and some close
to 20 home visits were scheduled from Saturday afternoon.
I recently met a vibrant lady by name Priya on a Baby shower
party and she introduced me to Maha Periyava seattle group and that is how I
was connected to his grace here.she requested me to give our home address also
for the home visit and I gave. After that came a series of questions on my mind
as I read the instructions to do to welcome Maha periyava Padukai. Women must
wear Madisar(A style worn by Tamil Brahmin Community) and men (Pancha Kanjam-
Style worn by Men Brahmin ).
Priya generously offered me and the lady Nirmala( My good
friend now) with whom I share a 2 BHK. I hesitantly told her that am not a
brahmin but my friend who lives with me is one and finally we were told to wear
normal 6 yards saree.Nimmy already consoled me saying, Anita do not worry, am a
brahmin so dont think that periya is coming to a non brahmins house, I feared
the rituals more than anything because I have understood periyava and feel his
presence.
Nimmy shipped flowers from New jersey, I told her Periyava likes
Mullai and we also shipped Malligai. We kept 5 varieties of fruits -
Banana,Pomogranate(Periyava's Favorite),Apple,Orange,Dry fruits,Mullai
Flowers,Honey,Turmeric,Vibhuti,Naivedyam(Paruppu Payasam - I made it).
The schedule was Periyava padukai was supposed to visit our
home on Saturday 12.30pm, I requested the Co-ordinator Subbu sir that anywhere
after 6pm is fine and even its late night because I already got my ticket to go
to experience TEDx seattle since its my first TEDx experience, I prayed and apologized
to periyava that I long to go there. At first the coordinator hesitated then he
said I will accomodate and Sunday morning 10.15am was the time allocated for
us.
My day started from 5.30am I played Guru Paduka Stotram and
chanted along as I arranged all the items needed for Periyava's Visit.
Below is the picture of our Arrangement - I do not want to
say how I was so picky and wanted to align to the expectations of his visit.
(Maha Periyava Padukai to be placed on Table).Nimmy fell
sick suddenly and I was the only one to do all these from morning. I wore a
saree, removed my Rudraksha malai since I doubted if I will be questioned if
women can wear it and kept it in front of the picture you see above. - Note
these Point :1
Nimmy was feeling bad that she could not help me at all, but
I told her nimmy what if you are not there and I had to do everything alone, so
be it. When we are alone, we only have to do things on our own . - Note these
point no: 2
I carefully selected
pomograntes with the best quality,apples,everything I picked with much care and
devotion for periyava. I made a lemon garland out of small sized lemons so that
it is not heavy for his slender body, I thought it will pain his body if I use
big sized lemons. The lemon garland was offered on the paduka on Anusham day in
the temple.
I also made the Purna kumbam and realised I missed out
smearing turmeric all over the coconut and finished that too.I kept a ghee lamp
ready to be lit, Aarthi with camphor and sat down tying flowers of Mullai to
offer to padukai and noticed a whats app message that one of my team member met
with a bad accident while travelling with his parents and everyone were asking
if he was fine. I asked him to share his location and asked him if I can help
him to find someone in that place.Sri Krishnan who worked with me in chennai
had come to seattle for 3 weeks and I requested him to come to my house for
paduka home visit. I told him ' If I were a man, I would have gone and helped
my friend but what can I do being a women and that too when am here awaiting
for Periyava paduka '. - Note this point no: 3
Sri told me to take the Darba Mat I bought from India and
spread across the table, I told him this idea never striked me and I thanked
him because from morning I was thinking I didnt have a cloth to spread on the
table on which Paduka can be kept. - Note this Point no: 4
Deep down I was very scared and I called Priya and requested
her that if she can come and support me
since I was alone and only sri krishnan had come. - Note this Point no: 5
The car arrives at my door step and I wave hands from patio.
Sri says lets go and invite them and we both go, a man comes forward and tells
us 'Aarthi' and I say 'Anita' and he
says 'Aarthi thattu'.- Note this point No: 6
Paduka's arrive at the door step and I take Aarthi and Periyava
steps in and he says 'Purna Kumbham' and I run and bring 'Purna Kumbham' ,
seeing me hold it someone from the group says
please take it from her and I give it to Raghavendra and collect his
mobile phone which is in his hand and he smiles as a priest initiates a mantra
and I pray as I listen to the word 'Sanyase'.
Padukai is placed on the table, Totakshatam is performed and
I offer the Naivedyam to the priest and he asks 'Purnavathi' and I dont
understand and stare at him and then I say 'Jalam aa..' and I point it to a
brass vessel and he offers it to Periyava and we lit camphor .
Raghavendra tells me ' You are very Special to Periyava', Im
not joking, and am very serious'. I smile and tell him' Yes, Periyava is very
special to me' and then he corrects me ' You are special to him , he may be
special to you'. Its a miracle I will tell you and I felt it, its a personal
experience and he asks me a question ' Have you seen Periyava?'. I burst into
uncontrollable tears as if I hear someone so dear to me dead, I tell him ' I
have never seen him, never ever'. - Note
this POINT 7
Then they all tell me to come to temple pooja in the evening
and Raghavendra promises me that he will explain me the miracle of what he felt
in my home visit at the temple and they all leave though I request them that I
want to do GURU POOJA( I kept everything ready).
I dont even go out to send off periyava because my tears are
still uncontrollable and I sit with my eyes closed to perform guru pooja and I
finish it and open my eyes, Sri krishnan says he wants to leave and he
left , so it was only me and periyava
now in the house and sat in contemplation and started speaking to him ' So its
only you and me always and no one else is there with me'. It took me an hour to
come back to normalcy.
I rushed from KJ Jesudas sir's concert to be at the temple
by 7.30pm to hear from Ragavendra and see periyava paduka off to New jersey
that night . Paduka comes around 8.10ish and Raghavendra sees me and again says
'You are very special today and I will explain you '. I ask him the explanation
and he says he will and pooja is performed for paduka and after that
Raghavendra comes to me and narrates the below.
'Its me who has been taking Periyava Paduka to every house,
before coming to your house I sneezed and so covered my nose with my hands and
my hands got dirty , so I requested the other person to bring periyava padukai
and I told him that I will first go inside the house and wash my hands and then
be ready. so as I entered your house I said 'Aarthi' you said Anita and I
corrected you and you brought the aarthi plate and did Aarthi. I said Purna
Kumbham and you brought the Purna Kumbham , If I was holding the paduka I would
have told you women are forbidden to bring the purna kumbham and my mind was
silenced I dont know why and how. Only men should bring the purna kumbham and
so you automatically gave the purna kumbham to me and you also took my mobile
phone and I came inside and when we performed the pooja I realised that my mind
was switched off and taken control over by periyava so that I cannot say a word
to you that will embarass you and pain your heart when I say purna kumbham must
be brought by the man of the family only and not a women. So he is taking care
of you and I cannot say a word of my own , ENJOY! Periyava has come to your
house only FOR YOU!
I told him I also realised that when I said my name when you
said Aarthi. But deep down I was always fearing that Is it ok that periyava
comes to a non brahmin's home and I dont know many rituals and what if I make a
mistake or something which I was not supposed to do and I dont have anyone else
other than me in the house, sri krishnan was my guest.
Now relate from points 1-7 and see how beautifully Periyava
has taken control over my life and takes care of me. How I was blessed to hear
this miracle from Raghvandra's mouth. I told Raghavendra that am single
and Periyava is my everything and he
said CATCH HOLD OF HIM, YOU ARE VERY SPECIAL FOR HIM, I FELT IT'. Raghavendra
does not know anything about me.
I was in tears of joy
in the temple and related all the incidents that happened from morning to
understand that how periyava is listening to all my conversations I had with
priya,nimmy,sri krishnan.
His benovalent grace upon me, am I worthy of it I dont know.
All I want to convey is ' I wish to be as his Paduka in service to the TRUE
GURU'. Im blessed with a TRUE GURU.
Follow my blog on more Periyava experiences in my life as he
decides to open up within me after
years , as I share this divine
experience with you all on how he goes
out of the way to protect his devotees .
My next blog will be - How Periyava found me?( Im not great
but he came to me)
Posted 20th November 2017 by Anitha Babu
Labels: Anita Maha Periyava
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NOV
8
Whispers of the Heart
As the water makes its waves
along the shores of sea
Im trying to hold your memory
closer to the beats of my heart
I can only feel the water
touching my feet
yet cannot hold the water
Just as the sea does not
stop making waves
Listen to the whisperers
of my heart
Still and filled with your love....
Posted 8th November 2017 by Anitha Babu
Labels: Memories Water
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JUL
11
The Metal Valve
The Metal Valve
I spent lunching most of my afternoons in a small cabin
which can fit in 3 people with desks and stands that held achievements and
trophies of a lady who is extremely
positive about life and living. As we exchanged the cooked dal and veggies she gently opens up letting me
know that she cannot consume raw food and food that contains proteins because her spleen is removed and she is
prone to infections. She has a humour that can let one understand that it’s
important to let go of things and be a little ease within oneself.
She is named after
the famous Tamil poet who had dreamt of education for women and
empowering women, its ‘BHARATHI’. Her family was known to me virtually as our
conversations continued for months during our lunch times. I also learned to
appreciate my mother more openly and supported her visits to beauty salons as
she wanted to look good aging gracefully though my mother refused doctor visits
despite her difficulty to walk.
Bha also introduced me to various slokas and we had a common
guru(Kanchi Maha Periyava) whom we adore and love and respect for the life he
led and the path he has shown us. We shared a deep bond and I saw layers of
sufferings covering her heart and she was letting it out as soulful music from
an well mastered instrument. We disagreed on many things and she would counsel
me to remain positive always. We even went on to discuss on how to plan
funerals if she died ahead of her 80+ yrs old father and vice versa.
The learnings that shaped her life was lived by me as she
vented out her personal experiences on marriage. One can find herself wearing
pleasant colors in saree or salwar with red kumkum on her forehead and her
breath constantly reminding her and me that it can stop any moment and yet her
positivity has amazed me many times. Me and my mother went for a trip to Kanchi
temple and various other stage dramas
with her and we really enjoyed
her presence filled love and positivity.
Much of NDE(Near Death Experience) and back to life was
narrated by Bha to me and I listened with strong awareness and empathy.
Recently she told me about her visit to doctor and she seeking medical advice
on replacing her metal valve in her heart. She already has her spleen removed
when she went through tuberculosis in
her stomach and how she was cured of it. I cannot restraint myself from writing
the pain she had been through as she dragged herself on the floor rolling out
in pain , I visualize and empathize with her as I travel in her painful past
but we both rejoice the beautiful present sharing and empthazing for each
other. I conclude this blog with
gratitude for what I hold for now and life letting me share and listen
to experiences of my own friends .
Epilogue:
I had been thinking to write about Bha and giving it to her
as part of my own learning experience and her friendship. After reading a few
chapters from ‘ The top 5 regrets of the dying’ , I write this blog on my way
back from NJ to Seattle after visiting my sister whom I met 18 months back. My
mother fears her death so much because she fears of care takers and with me and
my sister around she is not confident that we will be physically present as
care takers since we have our careers. This book am reading is about a care
taker who writes about her clients who die as she works as a care taker for the
dying and discovering her own journey into herself. My family decided to put my
father in a hospice because my mother cannot take care of my father who was
dying from cancer and myself and my sister were supposed to go to work to
support our family. I have seen the dead dying slowly and their silent cries in
the hospice. I look forward to
volunteering in some elderly care homes and learn and experience life better so
that letting go is easy and how
important it is to live for this moment.
July 12 2017:
I called Bha and told her that I remembered her a lot during
my birthday in her favorite Guruvayurappan temple and wanted to speak to her.
She believes in astrology and told me that she will not be alive in a few
months from now and informed that she is looking for a part time job. My
company treated her very badly after she served for more than 10 yrs heading global HR Immigration and had
fostered wonderful work relationships with embassies and she was a perfectionist
who had 100% compliance, letters from American consulate would convey apology
to her and visas were given and she proudly would show me the letters from
embassy and photographs which she held dear to her . I accompanied her on her
last day at work and walked with a few people until the gate and she dropped me
home that day, she had employed a driver whom she considered as a younger
brother and he was very loyal to her . she was kind to find him an employment
since she was asked to leave her job and no longer had any income. I asked her
if she needed anything and she said that she is fine and praying god daily
thanking GOD for whatever GOD gave her and she is keeping everyone in her
prayers. She told me she wanted to go to Kashi but her doctor refused saying
she is prone to infections and hence she dropped the idea. Again , her optimism
amazed me. I have tears in my eyes when I think of her death which is
anticipating any moment. I have spent lots of time with her and tried to understand why forgiveness,compassion,love
and feeling good is important only when we come to know that we have very less
time.
Posted 11th July 2017 by Anitha Babu
Labels: disease Dying Experiences
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JUN
19
The US of A
After 12 years , as I step in to the US of A, I wore the
jeans which I bought in 2006 and walked into immigration answering a few
questions of work permit. I greeted the famous musician A.R Rahman who stood in
line ahead of me and walked past to collect my baggage and move ahead of my
journey.
Meeting my friend S who lovingly stocked my kitchen in the
hotel with a week's food and I walked down to my work daily . Long pine trees
and showers and clouds that covered the sky looked like a confused mind
yearning for clarity around the dark thoughts that hovers me.
Karma gave way to a mix of people and I decided to move in
with a family and a lady both telugu speaking with a neighbourhood that has a
mall filled with people and entertainment. I noticed that most of the telugu
people speak in a raga.
The project which we were working had lots of issues on
support and it can be handled well if people are given the liberty of speaking
their needs/pain points.
So karma took me to two different people and it made me look
within myself as a women. one prioritizes the family , the man and the child.
Another lives in the present, adopted a child and then clears her clouded karma
to give birth to a child. I remembered the book 'Karma and Reincarnation' by
Pandit Tagmani Tigunait.
Have seen spiritual masters who dont hold anything for their
own, but not a women in a family who gives herself totally for everyone. There
is a aura which is magnetic around this person but one has to be careful
because it may cause one to depend on each other.How do you define love?
Unconditional and unbounded. Thats what I saw in this person . A mother in her
that is alive but the women in her that is pulsating.
Driving was not easy because I didnt know rules but later
got used to it. Work has kept me busy and lots of learnings. Tall pine trees and wet roads and people covering
themselves with jackets are common in summer too. Children cycle along ,
temples that serve sumptuous meal and indian groceries stores connects to India.
Playing basket ball, shuttle and walking and watching shrubs
and trees and little rabbits and small sparrows make me think am a cohabitant
in this place where it rains 9 months in a year.
Lets see whats in store for me and where my karma takes me,
eventually karma is meant to be burnt so that we go on with our next cycle.
Posted 19th June 2017 by Anitha Babu
Labels: Life Seattle US
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APR
16
Begum Jaan - Hindi Movie
If Vidhya balan could not get a National award for this
movie, I will not bother because she has already captured a very high place in
my heart. Does it not require Nerve to act in such a movie ?
It is written and directed by National Film Award-winning
director Srijit Mukherji and produced by Mukesh Bhatt, Vishesh Bhatt and Play
Entertainment.
she builds her own Koti with the help of Raja Maharaja and
as Nature made its way Men fall for women, she establishes her family of women
who rule that place . The way she carries herself and her compassion for a girl
who is being brought after being raped by a few men, the way she gives instant
relief for the young girl.
As a mother she nurtures them, as a sister she cuddles them
, as a human she becomes much more than a human when she describes her
definition for FREEDOM. Women are never free and out in the dark there is no
caste or creed there is only pleasure and since its a shadow there is pain too,
not known to many and felt only by being human.
Salim's(Sumit Nijawan) character deserves applause , for a
women who doesn't trust any men Salim is an exception such is the faith of that
man who is so very loyal to begum jaan. Girls Gauahar khan,Pallavi
Sharda,Ridheema Tiwary,Raveena,Pooja all enjoy the freedom which they were
given to
them only in Begum's Koti.
The Plot involves independence of India and the land is
divided into Pakistan and India and Begum's Koti lies right there on the line
of partition between Pakistan and West Bengal(India). She is determined to die
as a queen in her quote but not leave her place and sees her end by burning in
her own quote, self esteem honoured. Im watching many films these days where
the audience clap their hands at the end.
There is pain,anger, humiliation which is wiped by being a
feminist. I liked when the teacher who teaches a child in her koti comes and
confesses that he loves begum and she explains her that there is someone in her
own koti who is madly in love with him and still trusts him, thats because she
still strongly believes that someone can marry any of these women in her
koti and give them a good life and social
status.
Anu Malik's music will pierce your soul and one can feel the
pain. Songs are wonderfully penned.
Listen to the voice begum jaan which lingers for her
courage.
PREM MEIN TORE AISI PADI MEIN
PURANA ZAMANA NAYA HO KAYA
YE KYA HO KAYA
KAB SAANS THAAMI , KAB SAANS CHHODI
HAR DARD MERA BAYAN HO GAYA
YE KYA HO KAYA PREM MEIN TORE
Haldi maali jo ghawpy thore,
Har zakham mera haara ho gya,
Yeh kya ho gaya..
http://vipsongspk.net/begum-jaan-2017-songs-download/
WOH SUBAH HAMESE ...
In bhooki pyaasi roohon par
Ik din tu karam pharmayegi
Woh subah hum hi se aayegi
Woh subah hum hi se aayegi
Maana ke abhi tere mere
Armano ki kimat kuch bhi nahin
Mitti ka bhi hai kuch mol magar
Insano ki keemat magar kuch bhi nahin
Insano ki izzat jab jhoothe
Sikko mein na toli jayegi
Posted 16th April 2017 by Anitha Babu
Labels: Independence Love Lust Vidhya Bala Womens Courage
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APR
15
कोण होऊं में
- Hindi Poem
कोई केहता है इसे
अजथि
कोई केहता अहंकार
कोई थो बोलता
नहीं
आखों बोलती सब
कोई थो बताएं
मुझे
कोण है
वोह ...
मुझसे पूछें थो कोई
आकर बाट ले
मेरे दर्द भरी
दिल
मेरी वोह तन्हाई
मेरी वोह आज़ादी
मुझे मुझको ढेढे ज़रा
....
Posted 15th April 2017 by Anitha Babu
Labels: Contemplating within Who am I
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MAR
6
LION - Movie
This movie was recommended by Geetha my friend.
Three children, two young boys and a small sister are raised
by a mother who provides comfort to her children by working as a labourer
carrying rocks. Guddu,Saroo and Sheila are children who are deprived of basic
comfort yet they are happy. Im reminded of a tamil movie 'Kakka Muttai' where
the slum boys have a desire to eat pizza and they gather money for it.
Saroo gets lost on his way with guddu who takes saroo along
with him while going to work in a bustling railway station. Saroo must be 6-7
yrs of age and he gets into a train and the train stops in a station after 3
days, the child sleeps over and sustains with the remains of the food under the
seats.
The survival instinct of the child is portrayed beautifully
when the child decides to leave the house of a lady who nurtures him pitying
his lost state and arranges for a tout who takes children for trades unknown
and unheard of.
Fortune and Karma are like seasoning in a already preset
path. Saroo lands up in a home where deepti Naval from a NGO comes to his
rescue and decides to get him adopted by a Australian couple . Saroo is
welcomed by the couple and time passes when another addition to the family his
elder brother joins him ,adopted by the couple again.
The couple when adopting a boy decides to keep the same name
'Saroo' and do not change the name of the boy. I really appreciated this small
gesture because the child needs that space , atleast the name which he is so
used for the past 5-6 yrs can be spared and the mother beautifully gives that
space. A lovely lesson and wonderfully pictured.
The australian lady speaks about her vision as a 12yr old
girl where she visualizes a brown skinned child holding her hand and its so
real for her and it eventually comes true in her life.
The rest of the story revolves around using google earth and
trying to find the place from where he is lost, Ganesh Talai'. A little romance
and trying to make terms with the family and his elder brother could have been
better pictured. Australia is a beautiful place, some more nature and oceans
can be pictured.
Finally Saroo meets his mother in Ganesh Talai and his
adopted mother also meets the biological mother. Its a touching moment. Its a
heavy story that can make you cry many times.I cried many times and what moved
me deeply is when the mother shares her vision to her grown up son. she
narrates a dialogue 'I want to give you a chance in the world'. Its a real life
story and at the end one can watch the real characters in the real world.
Compassion moved me deeply. In a world where children dont
attend to their parents and parents who neglect children , there are people
with a motherly quality promoting inclusiveness in the divided society of
different culture and belief systems and ecology. I kept crying when the lost
is child, and I have a similar experience duing International yoga day June
24,2013. After the IDY session at Nandanam grounds , I came walking to the
place where there were water pots to drink from and a small girl aged about 6
yrs was found. I grabbed her hand and moved towards the police booth in the
grounds to find her parents and handover to them. A man came running towards me
calling the name of the child and after enquiries I handed over the child.
After 10 mts, the man came looking for me telling me that the child wants to
see me and she has never asked like that. I asked the man to bring the child
and he brought it to me, I holded her hand and the child refused to go to her
father despite calling her many times. I told the child that someday I will
come to her house and politely handed over to the father. Its very nostalgic as
I write this.
I request you to watch the movie to understand why the movie
was named 'LION'. There is a significance to the name which one will know
towards the end of the movie.Im glad that I donated a few movie tickets to
people whom I dont know to promote
inclusiveness.
About 80,000 children are lost in India and the Lion is
doing their best to get them to their families. So please support the cause
http://lionmovie.com/#charity.
Posted 6th March 2017 by Anitha Babu
Labels: emotions Inclusiveness Lost and Find Love Technology
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FEB
27
Yogeshwar Linga
I enroll myself as 897th participant for Yogeshwar Linga
Consecretion because I have lot of self doubt ,inquiry within myself as to
which is the right path, am I on the right path. I enrolled just to enhance my
perception and break my limitations of endless fear I holded dear to me.
Like every other travel of mine, where unless I consciously
shut myself off in the crowd my neighbour would invariably open up personal
stories about them and walk away undisturbed leaving me depressed and filled
with questions. I dont question when someone shares their experience , I give
myself totally to listening and in the process I travel along with them. So
this journey from chennai to coimbatore was filled with a Ramanuja bhakta who
are forbidden from practicing any other belief ,fortunately their faith didnt
stop them from practising yoga. The lady's innocence moved me but people
eventually get nosy and after name introductions to the traveller who sits next
to you , she asked the common question to me' How many children you have ,
please tell me your family?'. When I told her am single , she was worried about
my mother and when we bid good byes she told me I can understand you are very
unique ,special and I have not met anyone in this age and I know its difficult
to find a person '. I just smiled and left to IYC.
The day starts walking 2.5 kms to the Ashram from stay area
and sleeping inside a sleeping bag , my neighbours were Sruthi from Jaipur and
another Pinky from Chandigarh a punjabi. Sruthi tells me that I should open
myself to the angels around me with a lot of hesitation and told me she learnt
how to be organised from me. I was invited to stay with her during the Jaipur
literature festival, its one of my small dreams I have. Pinky had a contagious
laughter and she goes to tell me her past life regression therapy and her own
personal story leaving me in tears . Both are close to 50 yrs and we discussed
about sadhguru,alternative sexuality and was surprised to see that sadhguru
also speaks on the same topics during the consecretion ,the day we discussed. I
also meet people who love food and people who handle Inner Engineering retreat
programs to give a fresh way of looking at life because their life situations
are very different from mine.
YLC was a beautiful experience and I could feel the 5
chakras from mooladhara until Agna. Few techniques to activate Agna using
shanmukhi mudra put me to ecstatic states , I was jumping from the floor with
my legs crossed, my body was not prepared to handle high energies . There was
silence,bliss and energy pulsating.
After the consecretion, I switched on the phone and was
raged on seeing the allegations against ISHA , I went all the way to tag
someone on FB who posted wrong comments about ISHA without making an effort to
know it. They untagged themselves but I was filled with self doubt, a rage that
made me go to Devi temple, and dhyanalinga I sat for 1.5 hrs contemplating
truth and if am on the right path, somehow I consciously knew that sadhguru was
a true guru but there were somethings which I cannot find answers within, so I
cried in ignorance and failure in my inability to know the truth and trust
shaken just to find myself going deep rooted within me , I thanked sadhguru for
shaking me up and testing my limits. I was not going to stop my practices no
matter what happens and just keep going for the truth to unveil itself,
I was volunteering at registration counter from 11am until
10pm giving me good experience and walking about 2 kms to get my dinner which
was MahaAnnadanam and walk back to Gate 1 , just to be blessed with a seating
pass for Mahanathi and I go and sit closer to the stage and enjoy the music and
being alone. I generally dont like to tag myself with anyone in ashram because
am very impatient to wait for somone and I like to go and sit quiet and within
myself and dont welcome anyone other than myself.
I decided to go early from the Mahashivarathiri grounds by
4am so that I can rest, the hot sun and volunteering made me tired but there
was something burning within me. So I walk out from my seating place by 4am and
by the time I reach the main road its close to 4.15/20 and am guided to walk
about a km for the bus and I walk and I try to recollect the way from my hotel
to make sure that I walk the right path to my destination.I walk with my torch
light on ,its dark and after 30 mts of walking I find myself alone on the road
with stars up on the sky , I walk chanting , there was something burning within
me that could not be quenched. I walked more than 10 kms to come across a
father and girl about 12 yrs of age walking along and I check with them if am
on the right path and they tell me they belong to the same place where my hotel
was and asked me to walk with them. so me and the little girl walk ahead with
the father behind, many times I walked so fast to leave the girl and the father
behind and I slowed down as they pointed me to the light where I could read the
sign board of the hotel and I put my hands together and thanked them for
guiding me and travelling with me.I felt the presence of my father strongly
after the Mahashivarathiri night and the father who travelled me was guiding
his daughter the same way my father was to me. He told me you have risked
yourself by walking alone. But then, I have always had someone coming from the
blue and helping me and walking away. I also felt strong presence of my Gurus,
Sadhguru and Maha periyava and a musician. I was being guided whenever I was
alone, in self doubt to discover about myself , the darker side of my fears. I
was confronting my own fears but I learnt to be with this and keep going. So I
move from Prayer to Presence. I truly felt the presence of my gurus and my
father.
A hata yoga teacher Aarthi who did her Samyama with me, she
quit her IT job and went on to become a Hata yoga teacher in ISHA, when I met
her and we had dinner together and a young boy bumped on her and she said ' If
you do your practices regularly, you will be free from conflicting
relationships'. After I broke my ligament on ankle my practices took a toll, I
recently started up after I engaged myself on a LCHF diet program and I can see
the difference on my face after I finish my practice and have truly enjoyed it.
Reading Adi yogi book, there was one strong message for me '
Do not look up to anything , do not look down on anything'. The grandeur of the
way Mahashivarthiri happened ,with lots of north indians and International
participants and Modi our PM I was in self doubt if am on the right path, one
way I felt it was like accumulating wealth,land and expansion and the on the
other side constantly reminding myself 'You are nothing'. I remember what
sadhguru says during the consecretion 'There is a flipside to everything',
these twin perceptions of seeing things just the way they are , I felt kind of
lost . Im trying to hold on, hoping to
become free someday. SHAMBHO! After all , am with ISHA based on my own
authentic experience .
Posted 27th February 2017 by Anitha Babu
Labels: Consecretion ISHA Sadhguru
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FEB
13
RasLeela
O! Beloved my Krishna
Hidden amongst all
But I still long for you
will you not spare me
from the mad world
who looks for you in a idol
garlanding you with flowers
Are you not the aroma?
The flowers also are aware
When will you relieve me?
from myself and reveal you....
எண்னக்கள்
யாவும் நீ
எண்ணமும்
நீ
ஓடி ஒளிவதும் நீ
என் கண்களும் நீ
உன்னை கண்ட உடனே
நான் என்னும் என்னுள் நீயே...
Posted 13th February 2017 by Anitha Babu
Labels: Krishna Radhey Rasleela
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FEB
5
The Virgin - Series of Poems
An attempt on perception of
the Virginity and Virgin?
(1)
Untouched and radiant
Pure and Vibrant
Dark and shallow
Warmth within
Emptiness farrows..
(2):
Giving oneself in all
Not holding back
Longing and craving
Is there a love that lasts?
Pure and unadulterated..
(3):
Losing oneself to a masculine
Being a channel for life
Creators play of Nature
Seeing oneself within
Passage to the divine
(4):
Water and the Grass
Mountains and valleys
Rivers and Seas
Soil and Air
Fire within
conjoined within
In Music and Drama
Literature and Cinema
Food and People
Children and the Old
Am already Entwined...
(5):
From a child to adult
Ignorant as a Child
Let me be like the one
a child forever...
(6):
I lose myself
to bear another
I see you vanish
in the hands of time
on the name of virginity.. ( A child that is aborted in the
womb)
(7):
Adorned with flowers
Worshiped and adulated
The divine within
oh! Mortal Souls
Let me be..
(8):
I submit myself
oh! My Lord
Serving the people
I light the lamp within
Spreading Joy
Resting in Prayer
Seeking Peace for all..
Posted 5th February 2017 by Anitha Babu
Labels: Virgin
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FEB
5
Kerala Literature Festival 2017 Kozhikode Beach
With lot of contemplation and no one known in the city , I
booked my train and return flight tickets to Kozhikode because of the love for
books ,Artists,Movies,Music and the vast beach which opens a sea of
opportunities.
Kozhikode welcomed me at 4.50am on Feb 4th 2017 and I could
easily spot a auto rickshaw who took me to my destination and I checked into a
OYO room which I booked , being a cyber techie its relatively easy to plan the
travel. My co-travellers at the train were 5 doctors who took me through their
memory lane of how they got their medical admission and writing their anatomy
exam and the flaws of medical books and how a medical student perceives a
reading and what their 30-40 yrs of experience taught them , they even went to
the extent of answers to certain questions. Most of them had their grand
children and it was nice to listen them speak about the times they all spent
together during early years of qualifying themselves as a doctor and very few
spoke about their wives who went to temples and how the women indoctrinate the
logical thinking of a man. What interested me was they discussed about
spirituality and played videos which can be heard by the people beside their
two seater berths. They all spoke superficially since they spoke logic and none
spoke their experience. Any subject to be deeply understood must be experienced
was my thought process and they all failed there because none of them meditated
but they spoke about meditation and some never even prayed so they lost in
touch with themselves, their only connect was patients and the tools which
helped them treat the patients . I quietly observed as I always love to and
wished that they get a patient which can help them connect with themselves. I
slept only for a few hours and was awake watching the station since mine was a
intermittent and not a destination of Mangalore express. Leila seth's
autobiography kept me busy as I learnt about her childhood and the doctors
tales juxtaposed with my reading ,but never I exchanged a word except small
smiles to make them feel acknowledged of my presence.
Day 1:
My Day started with Mahaswetha Devi a documentary film , a
large tent was built on the shores of kozhikode beach and it was made dark and
the movie was projected using projector, the coordinator greeted me with a good
morning and it was 9.45am.
By 11am I went to a session Body,Nature,Desire : In Women's
Poetry . How women perceive themselves
in different ways when it comes to describing the body, Nature and Desire. Most
of them perceived as motherliness and extending the care and women were not
writing it in a way that convey erotica.
Science and Religion also gave some thoughts because of the
logic and logic manifested into a faith , well moderated by Jeevan Job thomas
and Maitreyan and others.
After my lunch with Geeta whom I met in Hindu Lit Fest at
Chennai , we both went on our ways to explore more.
An Era of darkness &swimmer among the stars - Shashi
Tharoor,Kanishk Tharoor in conversation with Meena T Pillai . The Tharoor's
family writing books no longer excites me , they were given a plethora of
choices since childhood and moulded to read and write . Tharoor's pride danced
on the stage as the young kanishk honestly spoke about his growing up in
newyork and reading books and tales he heard as a child had spread its wings in
his new book. It was a family time with
audience permitted to understand how the tharoor's wrote,thought as a writer
and parlimentarian.
Sexual Morality in Cyberspace Session was very uplifting
because of the people who did the session. Parvathy a psychologist ,Sangeetha Sreenivasan,CS Chandrika,KR
Indira,VK Adarsh and moderated by NP Sajeesh. Parvathy quotes experiences where
children are not taught about sexuality and how its suppressed and why cyber
sex crimes is so prevalent and none of them wanted to see each other and meet
other, issues were discussed openly and enough laws are not there to protect
women.
The day closed with Science and Rational thought with
genetic scientist Sam Santhosh with Maitreyan and moderated by Jeevan Job
thomas . Sam worries about world becoming 25billion and how do we manage to get
the resources and maitreyan criticises the scientists because of the politics
in science where scientists themselves dont have control since they are
sponsored by people with money.Creating model pigs for testing was brought in
and consuming beef was also brought in the discussion. I liked the way
malayali's address the issue and speak frankly .
We went and settled on a stone listening to the wonderful
Shehnai by Nasir Abbas Khan and it calmed the mind as the cool breeze touched
our body and the music our soul.
3 spaces were created with cloth and tent and a podium for
the host. Ezthulola,Aksharam and Thoolika. I liked the space Ezhuthola because
as I listened to the sessions, I can feel the warmth of the sun around 4-5
ready to set and one can smell the aroma of freshly made fries from banana,fish
and mirchi and as the cloth walls along the sides of the spaces fly, one can
see the road visible and some people buying TV and Bajji's from the road side
vendor who made business because so many people could read and think.
Day 2: Sunrise in Kozhikode by 6.45am and a few nice clicks.
I watched muslim women covering their head in black sitting in a circle and
enjoying the morning sunrise and a few young men jogging and exercising. I
simply sat on the beach to explore the waves and my thoughts thats nonstop like
the waves ,lost in serenity .
Garaas - Short film by Sanju Surendran Story:Devadas where 4
young boys go to the beach and jump and throw themselves into the sea and back
on the shore they are struck by the idea to drink and consume alcohol and one
of them goes to the water again after consumption and he is lost drowning . The
movie opens up well , 4 young boys recollecting an incident and decide to go to
bar after 3 years of losing their friend, they never drank for 3 years and a
group bullies them in the bar and they land up in police station where the
inspector is the uncle of their lost friend and he teaches them a lesson and
finally frees them , but then again they go into exploring the world. Its a
award winning short film but I felt it was abstract.
Poetry The New Stirrings session highlighted new age poetry.
Myth and Novel - Sara Joseph ,KP Ramanunni,TD Ramakrishnan
and others. I already fell in love with sarah joseph because of her way of
thinking , i haven't read her and have copied to read . The conversations were
waves hitting the shores making a rhythm of life. For the first time , am
trying to understand the author and then read their book. I love the idea of
this approach.
Painting,Sculpture,Cinema and Society - Leena Manimekalai
had fun in this session by making fun of chennai and how people are
conservative and her stories of rape victims can move anyone. she narrated real
time events of women where their own families are no longer safe for them since
80-90% women who were raped , were raped
by their own family members, thats disturbing. Building spaces which promote
these healthy discussions was evident in kerala but the need to have a space
like lalit kala academy was highlighted by Bose.
Session closes with Sarah jose speaking her views on how a
women still goes on washing the utensils and the under garments of a grown up
son and how society and culture has failed to teach the younger boys to wash
their own inner garments and describes that she taught this in her class , she
implanted the thought within the boys in her class to take care of themselves.
simply profound!
Calicut seems to be a muslim dominated region with beef
biriyani all around and egg and chicken consumed as snacks .Tea and lemon juice
was constantly serviced for a price.
What could have been better in KLF 2017:
For a whole lot of people who came to fest, I saw a muslim
women bring her 3 yr old child and attending all sessions and dozing off in a
session, both the mother and the child were fast asleep in a chair during a
afternoon session.
1.Children's section must have been there, because the seed
has to be sown at a very young age.
2.Art is a beautiful word, Indo European which means to fit
together,skill as the google reads . Im against artists being tagged to success
and failure and monetary benefits. An Artist is seen only by his/her work and
it should never be subjected to comparisons, the DC books which had a book
exhibition finally made me buy 3 books , 2 of them Sarah Joseph since her best
works were translated into english , I felt its worth buying since I don't know
to read malayalam and she is a fine writer .
3.Art sensitizes people it can invoke
love,passion,compassion and many other emotions. Such an Art when accessed by
people should maintain the cleanliness. The students and the public simply
threw garbage all over , I felt art was
abused in KLF 2017. For me, if I go deep and sensitize something I wish to keep
it clean and maintain the sanctity of that place. What is the use of being a
communist when you cannot stop to litter your own space for which you are
fighting?
4.Not enough volunteers to guide first timers like me and
there should have been a counter for outstation registrations where people can
feel comfy with the pulse of the communal calicut.
5.There could have been a blog in english so that people who
cannot follow malayalam can read in english. Blog which takes notes of the
sessions and are posted online immediately.
6.Some sessions can be made live on FB instead of posting
videos later on.
What was best:
1.Youngsters were readers and communists , its relatively
easy to see them with boards asking justice for a girl found dead in pune in an
IT company . In TN, never before it has happened until recently for jallikattu.
2.Film students and journalists and photographers were
sensible in their approach for photography and screening short films as part of
literature is a welcome measure.
3.Every other muslim women was free to come and participate
in such a session and exchange thoughts and ideas and read and explore and meet
writers and know the writers mind.
4. I didn't find any celebrities who came up dressed that
can exhibit their richness or success . It felt like humans connecting to
humans with the nature witnessing it, the beach.
To come for this fest, I had a tough time convincing my mother.
I cannot thank my friend Geeta and my mother for giving me this opportunity to
see the kerala which I have only heard and writers from all over the world and
never been to a place where democracy,sexual minorities,sexual morality in
cyber space are spoken on stage with over a few hundred people listening and
asking questions .
Catch up:
https://www.facebook.com/pg/keralaliteraturefestival/posts/?ref=page_internal
Readings gives me imagination and Travel gives me experience
- I look forward to more literature festivals and thoughts and thinkers and
students who can make it better overtime.
My next blog will be a poetry on Virginity and thoughts on
that. Different views of looking at virginity.
Posted 5th February 2017 by Anitha Babu
Labels: KFL 2017
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JAN
14
Shoots,Leaves and Much More
The picture above is the tree which was cut off because its
branches broke during the recent cyclone at chennai in december 2016. As I
hurriedly take my car to leave for work from the parking lot ,I spotted these
shoots from the bare tree which I failed to observe until then. So I parked my
car, enjoyed every leaf that's sprouting and took a snap to write about it and
savor it since it reminded me of many things.
What does the picture convey?
A perspective as a poem
From a seed into a strong tree
I grew day by day
Taking light and water
Marking my presence in earth
Strong enough to stand the test
A cyclone just broke me off
I stood naked firmly on the ground
My roots can reach the water
oh! Mankind Awake
Look at me and ponder
For am the one who survived
gusty winds making roars
With every cut I promise to rise
Every shoot communicates with all
Am I beautiful just to be pictured
Look deeply am full of life
because am rooted to the ground
Falling from a altitude
Standing apart alone
Fresh shoots resounds life
Fulfilling and longing
Embrace me now
Not after I wither ..
Posted 14th January 2017 by Anitha Babu
Labels: Cyclone Inspiration Shoots
2 View comments
JAN
8
Art .... Introspection
Chennai fills itself with carnatic music ,food,dance
performances and theater. Thousands flock and enjoy, learn and share
experiences.
What art can give you?
Any performer who sings,dances,theater or instrumentalists
,musicians,lyricist can witness them along with their loved ones.
I come from a profession where my parents do not get to see
the quality work I deliver at office, how I re-skill myself nor how I contribute
my learning to teach or just be a mentor and develop good solutions with a team
of youngsters from college. I just bring in good pay that is more than
sufficient.
Somewhere I found this today when I went to a concert of a
artist whom I know .The artists parents were sitting in the front row and I saw
the joy in their eyes and so as the artist who sang very beautifully. The best
gift a child can give to its parent so it become accomplished in their chosen
career.
I think every IT professional can understand what I write
here. As we age and gather experience in IT, we become a high cost resource
unlike in any other art form as you gather experience, one is valued .
Posted 8th January 2017 by Anitha Babu
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DEC
10
Relections 2016
As every year passes by it leaves one with Memories of
emotions. Lets see how did 2016 go for me?
January went on by hangover from floods,with help still in
need with respect to bringing back life to normalcy. A few musical concerts did
happen, some musicans were coping up and some on their journey to the year
ahead and some declared they will go mute this season.
From February, slowly things started settling and my sister
was preparing to leave to US and her house which was flooded in the rains, was
cleaned ,swept and deep cleansed professionally for them to start living. She
left to california by march .
March and April were busy preoccupied with Shambho since the
child was with us and my Brother inlaw broke his collar bone and was resting
with his travel to US posponed.
Summer is always beautiful because of the yearly trip I make
with MU, we go to swami Thyagaraja's birth place and sing in his house on his
star birthday every year.I long for this every year and wait like a flower that
will blossom only during April/May.
May June went by periodic visits to my apt at kodambakkam
for vacating the tough tenant and I had to go to police station to file a
complaint against him. I got the keys on my birthday on July 2, I felt what it
means to have a house and how one should count the blessings rather than think
it as a curse. I didnt have any attachment to the apt I owned because my father
was diagnosed with cancer within months of relocating to chennai from our
hometown vellore and he passed away, somehow mentally it had struck deep within
that the house was not too very lucky.
But we got our sister married in my house and shambho was
born here , I got a good job offer in a MNC and most importantly,Sadhguru's
sannidhi was brought to my house and I live in the same room where sannidhi is
kept.
So a big lesson, always count your blessings rather than the
past experiences. Many people dont even have a house. so I sincerely thank GOD
for granting me a shelter of my own.
IDY(International day of Yoga) added more experience to
myself and I organized a couple of sessions at work from ISHA Yoga.
August ,September went by occupied with work and October
November with my aunt diagnosed with cancer , I went in search of medicine and
now she is in her 5th chemo and awaiting the 6th and the last one. November
also made us realize the importance of money due to demonetization and much
time was wasted by standing on ATM queue's.
By December 10, my US trip is
confirmed and I dont know what will be my role in the projec
Art of Letting go:
I was asked to take over a new skill and build competence on
that, I hired two freshers for this job and worked with them. Vignesh and Jana.
Vignesh went in to prove the best candidate , I used to give him ideas to build
solutions to enhance user experience. All my ideas were built by him and he is
the 5th position on the SAP global Personas Leadership Forum, he is of age 22
years.
I never boosted myself but gave accolades to my team and
soon our solutions were labelled 'OUT OF THE BOX'. We did many things which SAP
also didnt imagine.My creativity was at the peak and my team and me spent
several house discussing solutions making things look good and evolving our
dashboards.
My boss started quoting my name on the meetings asking
others to take best practices from me. I didnt follow any best practice, I just
gave myself fully and I was blessed with wonderful coders.
Envy and jealously was predominant and one fine day I was
asked to break the team and my team was to be handed over to a mobile
application development project. I fought a lot,resisted but then one day when
I was working a thought came, Am I spiritual? How can I be spiritual if am not
able to let go of people and things? I
realised my limitation of emotional bonding with my team and what we had
achieved in less than a year's time , that fame and success blinded me but my
goal was to take my company to the number 1 from number 5. Among the top 10
global leaders for my skill, 9 people are from SAP company itself, we were the
only Indian company and people listed as leaders have average experience 20+yrs
and vignesh was just 22 yrs of age backed up by my ideas.
The moment I realized that am not letting go of my team, the
next day I told my boss that I will break my team. They are moved to bangalore
now for a better project and Im left to fend myself and am handling 3
competencies .
December:
By December a large number of people have requested me to
teach meditation at work. The location council was keen since its a target for
them and am someone who cannot teach meditation for a corporate target. I told
them that if they give a decent space ,clean and tidy, we can have one and am
sure they will not come back with my requirements.
We finally moved to my own apartment, I carved a name plate
by name 'ANITHA BABU' and hung it on my main door, I felt too egoistic
initially but then this thought of having a name board never occurred so
mentally I was healed because I filled myself with gratitude overcoming my
bitter past experience with my tenant and my losing my father.
The highly respectful job title when I move to US will have
to be let gone, I will be moved as normal developer may be or I might get some
role. GOD's plans... Who am I to question?
As everyone has Up's
and Down's , I have seen the UP and Down. So Im just praying to the GOD and my
guru's that come what may, help me remain within myself, let me always be
rooted to the divine and my GURU's.
So two big lessons in 2016 - Being Thankful for what one
owns/has and Art of Letting go.
Posted 10th December 2016 by Anitha Babu
Labels: Experiences Learning Time
1 View comments
NOV
15
Smart Kutcheri's and IOT (Internet of Things)
I have not been programming since last year and my recent
workshop on IOT from SAP made me think about this concept and blog , the
creative side within me. My area of interest is in design thinking and User
Experience and I look forward to work with developers who can help me build
these solutions.
We are all awaiting for the Margazhi Kutcheri season filled
with music,people,food and festive mood. Dance and drama will follow after New
year. Time to rejuvenate.
I have missed so many
music concerts of my favorite artists.
What is IOT?(Internet of Things)
IOT -> SENSE-> ANALYZE->ACTION . These are the 3
steps that IOT will do.Sensors are hardware devices that can be plugged to
power source and can be connected via WIFI. Their drivers and software needed
to recognize these sensors have to be installed in the computer on which one
can develop code and logic for suitable action and they can be deployed on
mobile phones as mobile Applications(Mobile App).
All mobile phones have sensors , example gyroscope. Apple
phones have the best sensors.
Concept of Smart Kutcheris:
Ideation:
I'm aware of a couple of artists who are very aesthetic,
they would prefer to have the lighting and ambience and sound decibels to be
set in where they sing or play their instruments.
Prerequisites:
1. Develop a Mobile application to control Light and Sound.
2.An Artist will have the mobile application installed in
their phone(Android/IOS) .
3.Light and Sound sensors to be embedded on speakers and
lights.
4.A hall which is smart enough and equipped with smart
lights and smart sound and AC that can be controlled by mobile.
How it works:
An Artist who is a
singer will have the mobile app installed and when on stage they can set the
ambience right, by reducing the luminosity
of the light and can control sound and also can control AC in the hall.
An artist who is an instrumentalist, can have sensors
embedded in the instrument which will act like a sruthi box to tune to that
frequency they desire , which will tell them that this is the frequency the
instrument is tuned in and they can also use the mobile app to control
brightness of lamps,sound and temperature.
Lets go a step further in this Use case I have imagined for
Smart Kutcheris.
I have never watched and rejoiced Smt.MS Subbulakshmi when
she was alive , so I will use a VR(Virtual Reality) device and when I play MS Amma's song , I can see her sitting
right in front of me and singing it as if it were live. The next generation will never miss the
legends at least on Virtual reality. To top some more imagination to it,
whichever direction I turn I can see her virtual moving image on that
direction.
And one can make it a
Augmented Reality which is offered by Microsoft Holo lens then you can add more
artists beside the vocal artists for violin,mirudangam,Kanjira etc depending on
the instruments used in the music you are listening and you can also add some
more AR to it like lighting etc.
At the end of the kutcheri, audience can post feedback on
the mobile app on their phones while they leave and by the time the artist
reaches home , the feedback data is analyzed and presented graphically or
musically to the artist who performed.
There are lot more inventions like google's smart lens which
can be used to enhance vision and control diabetes,that can take videos at the
blink of an eye,lens which can make you see everything in pitch darkness used
by US army. These lens are resistive to heat,water and dust.
One can control almost anything with the help of IOT but to
control one's mind, one has to consistently practice meditation(Anita's
Theory).
My idea was dismissed on the workshop citing advanced
thinking:
My idea was to build a glass worn by people who have power
on the eye , the sensor will detect the change in power and send notifications
to the lens manufactures for procuring new lens and also book a doctor appoint
with an opthalmologist to check eye power manually. This will avoid health
hazards for the eye.
Sounds Cool right... Its been on my mind from last week and
I look forward to becoming more aware and not to use Smart gadgets and smart
phones . But the next generation is going to use IOT extensively and thats the
reason of the birth of this blog.
Posted 15th November 2016 by Anitha Babu
Labels: IOT Smart Kutcheri Technology
2 View comments
OCT
24
My Quiet Moments
I have been working in IT for about 15 years now, have
handled big roles and my karma took me places . I have had north indian bosses,
boss from a govt.school with a sucking attitude and boss who is really a
thinker but cannot communicate well to the team and never had a women boss.
I have had men reporting to me whom I have blasted for
asking rewards for work and men trying to be more curious about my singleton
status so I had to be prudent always and I enjoyed being it that way. A few
months back I was offered a assignment in Copenhagen this year for about 3
weeks and my boss in an attempt to being sensitive to women's feeling and
thinking of women empowerment said I had a small kid and I cannot take the
assignment until I consult my husband. I remained quiet on the call , I could
not talk back saying that I didn't have a family and am single spared by a
mother who cannot be left alone. Eventually, that opportunity didn't come
through. I wanted to call my boss and tell him that if you don't know about me atleast stop
imagining and make an attempt to know
me.
Today I had my annual appraisal discussion and my boss told
me that I had to revisit my goals and restructure them and I have lots of work
to do in future and asked for a plan with a 360 degree gap analysis of a
competency that I lead. My data charts needs to be ready by next week . I gave
my explanations, but still my boss
wanted a plan, I was given freshers with whom am supposed to extract work and
shape a IT service offering. sometimes in some streams of work am responsible
for, I don't have anyone other than me to support. Im already over loaded, and
my mind works more, thats why I really enjoy my meditation twice a day. some
points were appreciated finally, I get a break. Im compared with a women who is
53+ yrs who got her daughter recently married and asked to manage multiple
things.
I have worked in MNC's where women are hired by men leaders
to retain their position, because the policy states a must of 5% women
reportees to a leader who is a man , so he had to empower women with no choice.
There were conversations on the lunch table today with leadership team claiming
that US does not want a women leader. I didn't know what kind of message they
are giving us to women on the table. I was quiet again, chewing my food, partly
mindful. Is this not harassment and my proud leader says in US, still many
women do donkey loads. I was like Mind you, you have daughter and think about empowering women, because
whatever you do goes to your heir both good and bad.
Another women leader about 50+ yrs almost broke down after
her one on one discussion with our men leader , she was refused promotion for 3
years and we both are in the same designation, she feels humiliated when the
leader asked for a report. I had to counsel her telling its very important to
maintain a work dairy to know what work we have done so far and also to protect
us from any allegations people can put on us at work on the name of
performance.
With no direction,guidance,mentorship I don't see any
roadmap for women, its only we who have to carve them . Wish more business
women leaders emerge and I also have my fair share of pie. Its not a ask, well
I think it should be taken.
Everyone judges, one is always measured , calibre is tested,
limits are stretched to find the tolerance levels.
Enough of Karma loads, still lots to unload... Save me my
GOD...
Wishing for a 3 day silence and simply sitting and breath
watching.
