Real life observations of people about healing

Bonding with me...

My childhood was filled with memories of my aunt's and their families visiting us. We lived in a small town Vellore and they lived in cities  chennai ,Bangalore and hyderabad. We had plenty of space to play, had our own house and a pet dog and walking was the most commonly used mode of transport to reach the bus stand and take a bus.

My mothers sisters  lived in cities and my father's sisters lived just a street next to ours and they also had the same life style like us. Our next generation of children alias we are now living in cities because of our employment . My connects with my aunts were primarily with food,songs,outings and dresses. My mother having been educated in Marathi medium and then to english during her BSc,BEd, she was a Hindi teacher .  Aam Ras Poori,Pitla,Sabudana Kitchidi,chicken biriyani,mutton pepper fry,fish fry,prawns curry were prepared during my aunt's visits. we played Hindi movies and listened to old hindi songs and had outings to Sathanur dam or just to our Pedamma(Mother's elder sister)'s house who lived on the other end of vellore. One of my aunt was into saree business and so our bonding was with the clothing .

Now, I have all my aunt's on facebook and whats app . They all have become tech savvy and now we also share our thoughts and ideas across this so called virtual world. We dont connect much these days like we used to and our bonding is on a thought process. As we age, we also become different individuals and  I became a pure vegetarian. Now my connects are only on facebook and occasionally when we meet , I prefer to have Aam Ras poori just to get connected to them. I have lost one of my aunts recently and she was the one who took me to school on Day 1 and left me behind those gates where all children were crying and I have always hated her for being so unkind to me, but when I look back at what she had gone through in her life and what I learnt from her, am awakened by that thought.

My aunt the youngest of all my mother's siblings died due to cardiac arrest leaving behind two girls who are matured to take care of their own lives. My aunt lost her mother when  her age was just a single digit number and she was brought up by my mother who also left her with my grandpa as my mother got married to my father and had to raise a family of her own. My aunt had a late marriage and she settled in Bangalore and fate took her as a widow when she was barely 40 , children had their own ways of learning curves and she went on to live for another 10 years with lots of health complications. My connect with her is only through my cousins now who lost their parents and they have evolved into someone who takes care of themselves.

How vital it is to connect to each other ? I certainly miss those wonderful days of connects where we all used to have 'Chai Muddai' - A handful of rice. A lot of food was left out after cooking for 15+ people and at the end of the day, we used to go to the terrace and under the moon light my aunt's and my mother used to mix all the left over food in a big bowl and have pappad and pickle ready and would keep rice balls on our tiny palms and we would eat it  sharing a joke and watching the gentle moon taking a picture of us.Followed by that was play,hide and seek with so many of our neighbour kids on the street.

Life is all about memories and am only building it. The recent death of Actress Sridevi is a shock to many, the truth being how fragile life is. With my work very demanding these days because of our project go live, I cannot explain how those 2 hours of music during saturday and sunday does to me. I feel the same connection among  all those children who sing with me and the teacher who is very patient and willing to teach us , and my new singing companion is Anuj who is a 12+ year old boy of a friend and me and Anuj go together to the music class and our drive is all up's and down's deep into the tall green trees and houses all far apart and a few cars on the road, we go across a pond where there are ducks and green fields where sheeps gaze as we listen to 'Thiruppamalai' taught in the class. I exchange conversations with Anuj asking him about his class and we talk about sheep and the nature as we drive back home. This is my connection today , with nature,music,computer,facebook,whats app , and yoga and meditation and making fresh bonds in this place where I live now.

Posted 26th February by Anitha Babu

Labels: Aunt Internet age Uncle

 

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FEB

4

COCO - Trauma Informed Outreach Training

Trauma Informed Outreach Training at Seattle - Feb 2-4 2018

It was a blessing to be a part of this program where one gets to feel pain and healing within a group of people who are not known to each other and want to connect with each other and understanding trauma scientifically and ways of manifestation and coping skills.

 It was a great experience because of the below points

1.       Circle game of non-judgment where one gets rid of guilt and shame

2.       Understanding what kids go through and their coping skills

3.       How to understand our own trauma

4.       Smell and Sound are memory keepers of our trauma so one has to be very vigilant on them

5.       Mirroring Technique of Always listening without judging

6.       Yoga poses where one sweats and stretches and releases trauma.

7.       Hurt people Hurt, Heal people Heal..

8.       Group home, Juvenile kids – How to deal with them

9.       How to wash off our own carriers of energy after connecting with kids who hold so much pain and have not healed them

1.     How do I take this learning experience way back to my country and do workshops on Trauma Informed Outreach Training

Posted 4th February by Anitha Babu

Labels: COCO Healing trauma Yoga

 

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DEC

20

Aruvi Tamil Movie

Aruvi came into my Watch list after I read a few reviews on facebook . Aruvi is for sure free flowing like the river Aruvi showcasing realities of life, be it hard or kind or soft. One can watch Aruvi for the below reasons:

1. For the heroine Aditi Balan,Story,Director,song lyrists

2.If you  are a human or trying to become one

Aruvi is the name of the heroin , her playfulness adds humour to the movie.Aruvi can eliminate many perspectives from one's life on how to look at life and way to live it. No Spiritual gyaan, yet very gentle and cold , its like the under currents that is beneath the river but nothing on the surface.

Aruvi has connected many many of our lives who have watched the movie and just like a river merges into the ocean, it takes you to that one point , the center where we all feel the purpose of life.

I didnt want to write anything about the movie, because I want you to go to that center point and experience it yourselves.

Posted 20th December 2017 by Anitha Babu

Labels: Tamil Movie Aruvi

   

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DEC

17

My Experiences with Maha Periyava - Part 2

Please join me to get drenched into the Ocean of Compassion that is Maha Periyava , my sole protector in this Kaliyuga.

It was the year 2013, I was working in Accenture and I took local train to travel to work at Perungalathur. The super fast train to and from Chengalpet will stop at West  Mambalam and many times I had to get down and walk my way to kodambakkam while I enjoy walking the busy streets of West Mambalam station road that bustles with flower vendors,vegetable vendors,Book shops that sell academic to spiritual books, music shops and movie CD shops and mess that serves food with coffee aroma all over and Bakshanam shops that sell savories . There are a lot of photo frames shops that sell pictures of all Hindu god's and goddess and saints.

I have walked this path and road for more than a year and one day I got down from the train at west mambalam station and walked along the same shops , as I was passing through the photo frames shop I saw a picture below , and I went to the shop keeper and asked 'Intha Photo Vennum..'( I need this photo). He saw me and asked 'Maha Periyava photo va? and looked at me differently, I was not comfortable and brought the picture and came home and I used to light a oil lamp to Sadhguru every day morning and evening and I kept the photo which I brought in there .

I dont know who Maha periyava is/was? I simply got the photo because I was attracted to it. Then somehow I got to watch 'Mahangalum adisiyangakalum' from Vijaya TV at 5.30pm and used to rush back from work. I used to cry thinking how I have missed visiting such a great saint. My father took me to so many saints for darshan but how did he miss Maha Periyava?

My mother was in my sister's house taking care of my sister's son and my house was filled me with me, Sadhguru and Maha Periyava and I used to talk to them just like my family. Tell them my problems, Pray to them, beg them, sometimes order them, cry and laugh with them. I think one can become mad if we constantly be in such company like Maha Periyava, and behave like he is living with us in our own house.

I shifted to another company because of unfortunate events and I graced Sadhguru's Ananda Alai program in chennai and slowly people who are very close to periyava started coming into my lives.

I met Anu whose parents are very devoted to Periyava , Karpagam madam, her husband is PT Mani sir;s grandson and periyava used to go and stay in their house when he camped in chennai, Shanthi Akka a very principled women who upholds dharma and a very good friend and guide for me.

When I came to seattle , Periyava introduced me to Priya who introduced me to Vedapuri Maama's daughter and Mappillai and I was blessed to visit the padukai and take their divine blessings in seattle.

so when periyava can come to a person who was walking on the road, then one must imagine his ocean of compassion and to what extent he will go to protect his kula people and people who do not belong to his kula too. Periyava is beyond religion, caste,gender according to me.

The way I have experienced him , there is every chance that my interpretation is proved wrong but its an experience deep within me and it will be ALIVE within me for many many births.

All I ask on this Anusham Day Dec 16th 2017 is , Periyava Please dont leave this GURUDASI, I do not have anything else to look up to and no one else who will come for me to rescue me in this kaliyuga except you.I bought this photo with me to seattle and till date light a lamp .

My humble pranams to Periyava for giving me an opportunity to write this blog. There are many miracles in my life, and I would like to keep it to myself and do not disclose.

HARA HARA SHANKARA JAYA JAYA SHANKARA!

Posted 17th December 2017 by Anitha Babu

Labels: Maha Periyava

 

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NOV

20

My Experiences with Maha Periyava - Part 1

Hara Hara Shankara Jaya Jaya Shankara

November 19th 2017 - A special day in my life. Maha Periyava Padukai from New Jersey was brought to Seattle and we celebrated Anusham here in Seattle. Devotees pooled as whats app messages were exchanged and some close to 20 home visits were scheduled from Saturday afternoon.

I recently met a vibrant lady by name Priya on a Baby shower party and she introduced me to Maha Periyava seattle group and that is how I was connected to his grace here.she requested me to give our home address also for the home visit and I gave. After that came a series of questions on my mind as I read the instructions to do to welcome Maha periyava Padukai. Women must wear Madisar(A style worn by Tamil Brahmin Community) and men (Pancha Kanjam- Style worn by Men Brahmin ).

Priya generously offered me and the lady Nirmala( My good friend now) with whom I share a 2 BHK. I hesitantly told her that am not a brahmin but my friend who lives with me is one and finally we were told to wear normal 6 yards saree.Nimmy already consoled me saying, Anita do not worry, am a brahmin so dont think that periya is coming to a non brahmins house, I feared the rituals more than anything because I have understood periyava and feel his presence.

Nimmy shipped flowers from New jersey, I told her Periyava likes Mullai and we also shipped Malligai. We kept 5 varieties of fruits - Banana,Pomogranate(Periyava's Favorite),Apple,Orange,Dry fruits,Mullai Flowers,Honey,Turmeric,Vibhuti,Naivedyam(Paruppu Payasam - I made it).

The schedule was Periyava padukai was supposed to visit our home on Saturday 12.30pm, I requested the Co-ordinator Subbu sir that anywhere after 6pm is fine and even its late night because I already got my ticket to go to experience TEDx seattle since its my first TEDx experience, I prayed and apologized to periyava that I long to go there. At first the coordinator hesitated then he said I will accomodate and Sunday morning 10.15am was the time allocated for us.

My day started from 5.30am I played Guru Paduka Stotram and chanted along as I arranged all the items needed for Periyava's Visit.

Below is the picture of our Arrangement - I do not want to say how I was so picky and wanted to align to the expectations of his visit.

(Maha Periyava Padukai to be placed on Table).Nimmy fell sick suddenly and I was the only one to do all these from morning. I wore a saree, removed my Rudraksha malai since I doubted if I will be questioned if women can wear it and kept it in front of the picture you see above. - Note these Point :1

Nimmy was feeling bad that she could not help me at all, but I told her nimmy what if you are not there and I had to do everything alone, so be it. When we are alone, we only have to do things on our own . - Note these point no: 2

 I carefully selected pomograntes with the best quality,apples,everything I picked with much care and devotion for periyava. I made a lemon garland out of small sized lemons so that it is not heavy for his slender body, I thought it will pain his body if I use big sized lemons. The lemon garland was offered on the paduka on Anusham day in the temple.

I also made the Purna kumbam and realised I missed out smearing turmeric all over the coconut and finished that too.I kept a ghee lamp ready to be lit, Aarthi with camphor and sat down tying flowers of Mullai to offer to padukai and noticed a whats app message that one of my team member met with a bad accident while travelling with his parents and everyone were asking if he was fine. I asked him to share his location and asked him if I can help him to find someone in that place.Sri Krishnan who worked with me in chennai had come to seattle for 3 weeks and I requested him to come to my house for paduka home visit. I told him ' If I were a man, I would have gone and helped my friend but what can I do being a women and that too when am here awaiting for Periyava paduka '. - Note this point no: 3

Sri told me to take the Darba Mat I bought from India and spread across the table, I told him this idea never striked me and I thanked him because from morning I was thinking I didnt have a cloth to spread on the table on which Paduka can be kept. - Note this Point no: 4

Deep down I was very scared and I called Priya and requested her  that if she can come and support me since I was alone and only sri krishnan had come. - Note this Point no: 5

The car arrives at my door step and I wave hands from patio. Sri says lets go and invite them and we both go, a man comes forward and tells us 'Aarthi' and I say 'Anita'  and he says 'Aarthi thattu'.- Note this point No: 6

Paduka's arrive at the door step and I take Aarthi and Periyava steps in and he says 'Purna Kumbham' and I run and bring 'Purna Kumbham' , seeing me hold it someone from the group says  please take it from her and I give it to Raghavendra and collect his mobile phone which is in his hand and he smiles as a priest initiates a mantra and I pray as I listen to the word 'Sanyase'.

Padukai is placed on the table, Totakshatam is performed and I offer the Naivedyam to the priest and he asks 'Purnavathi' and I dont understand and stare at him and then I say 'Jalam aa..' and I point it to a brass vessel and he offers it to Periyava and we lit camphor .

Raghavendra tells me ' You are very Special to Periyava', Im not joking, and am very serious'. I smile and tell him' Yes, Periyava is very special to me' and then he corrects me ' You are special to him , he may be special to you'. Its a miracle I will tell you and I felt it, its a personal experience and he asks me a question ' Have you seen Periyava?'. I burst into uncontrollable tears as if  I hear  someone so dear to me dead, I tell him ' I have never seen him, never ever'.  - Note this POINT 7

Then they all tell me to come to temple pooja in the evening and Raghavendra promises me that he will explain me the miracle of what he felt in my home visit at the temple and they all leave though I request them that I want to do GURU POOJA( I kept everything ready).

I dont even go out to send off periyava because my tears are still uncontrollable and I sit with my eyes closed to perform guru pooja and I finish it and open my eyes, Sri krishnan says he wants to leave and he left  , so it was only me and periyava now in the house and sat in contemplation and started speaking to him ' So its only you and me always and no one else is there with me'. It took me an hour to come back to normalcy.

I rushed from KJ Jesudas sir's concert to be at the temple by 7.30pm to hear from Ragavendra and see periyava paduka off to New jersey that night . Paduka comes around 8.10ish and Raghavendra sees me and again says 'You are very special today and I will explain you '. I ask him the explanation and he says he will and pooja is performed for paduka and after that Raghavendra comes to me and narrates the below.

'Its me who has been taking Periyava Paduka to every house, before coming to your house I sneezed and so covered my nose with my hands and my hands got dirty , so I requested the other person to bring periyava padukai and I told him that I will first go inside the house and wash my hands and then be ready. so as I entered your house I said 'Aarthi' you said Anita and I corrected you and you brought the aarthi plate and did Aarthi. I said Purna Kumbham and you brought the Purna Kumbham , If I was holding the paduka I would have told you women are forbidden to bring the purna kumbham and my mind was silenced I dont know why and how. Only men should bring the purna kumbham and so you automatically gave the purna kumbham to me and you also took my mobile phone and I came inside and when we performed the pooja I realised that my mind was switched off and taken control over by periyava so that I cannot say a word to you that will embarass you and pain your heart when I say purna kumbham must be brought by the man of the family only and not a women. So he is taking care of you and I cannot say a word of my own , ENJOY! Periyava has come to your house only FOR YOU!

I told him I also realised that when I said my name when you said Aarthi. But deep down I was always fearing that Is it ok that periyava comes to a non brahmin's home and I dont know many rituals and what if I make a mistake or something which I was not supposed to do and I dont have anyone else other than me in the house, sri krishnan was my guest.

Now relate from points 1-7 and see how beautifully Periyava has taken control over my life and takes care of me. How I was blessed to hear this miracle from Raghvandra's mouth. I told Raghavendra that am single and  Periyava is my everything and he said CATCH HOLD OF HIM, YOU ARE VERY SPECIAL FOR HIM, I FELT IT'. Raghavendra does not know anything about me.

 I was in tears of joy in the temple and related all the incidents that happened from morning to understand that how periyava is listening to all my conversations I had with priya,nimmy,sri krishnan.

His benovalent grace upon me, am I worthy of it I dont know. All I want to convey is ' I wish to be as his Paduka in service to the TRUE GURU'. Im blessed with a TRUE GURU.

Follow my blog on more Periyava experiences in my life as he decides to open up  within me after years  , as I share this divine experience with you all on how he  goes out of the way to protect his devotees .

My next blog will be - How Periyava found me?( Im not great but he came to me)

Posted 20th November 2017 by Anitha Babu

Labels: Anita Maha Periyava

   

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NOV

8

Whispers of the Heart

As the water makes its waves

along the shores of sea

Im trying to hold your memory

closer to the beats of my heart

I can only feel the water

touching my feet

yet cannot hold the water

Just as the sea does not

stop making waves

Listen to the whisperers

of my heart

Still and filled with your love....

Posted 8th November 2017 by Anitha Babu

Labels: Memories Water

 

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JUL

11

The Metal Valve

The Metal Valve

I spent lunching most of my afternoons in a small cabin which can fit in 3 people with desks and stands that held achievements and trophies of a  lady who is extremely positive about life and living. As we exchanged the cooked dal  and veggies she gently opens up letting me know that she cannot consume raw food and food that contains proteins  because her spleen is removed and she is prone to infections. She has a humour that can let one understand that it’s important to let go of things and be a little ease within oneself.

She is named after  the famous Tamil poet who had dreamt of education for women and empowering women, its ‘BHARATHI’. Her family was known to me virtually as our conversations continued for months during our lunch times. I also learned to appreciate my mother more openly and supported her visits to beauty salons as she wanted to look good aging gracefully though my mother refused doctor visits despite her difficulty to walk.

Bha also introduced me to various slokas and we had a common guru(Kanchi Maha Periyava) whom we adore and love and respect for the life he led and the path he has shown us. We shared a deep bond and I saw layers of sufferings covering her heart and she was letting it out as soulful music from an well mastered instrument. We disagreed on many things and she would counsel me to remain positive always. We even went on to discuss on how to plan funerals if she died ahead of her 80+ yrs old father and vice versa.

The learnings that shaped her life was lived by me as she vented out her personal experiences on marriage. One can find herself wearing pleasant colors in saree or salwar with red kumkum on her forehead and her breath constantly reminding her and me that it can stop any moment and yet her positivity has amazed me many times. Me and my mother went for a trip to Kanchi temple and various other stage dramas  with her and we really enjoyed  her presence filled love and positivity.

Much of NDE(Near Death Experience) and back to life was narrated by Bha to me and I listened with strong awareness and empathy. Recently she told me about her visit to doctor and she seeking medical advice on replacing her metal valve in her heart. She already has her spleen removed when she went through tuberculosis  in her stomach and how she was cured of it. I cannot restraint myself from writing the pain she had been through as she dragged herself on the floor rolling out in pain , I visualize and empathize with her as I travel in her painful past but we both rejoice the beautiful present sharing and empthazing for each other. I conclude this blog with  gratitude for what I hold for now and life letting me share and listen to experiences of my own friends .

Epilogue:

I had been thinking to write about Bha and giving it to her as part of my own learning experience and her friendship. After reading a few chapters from ‘ The top 5 regrets of the dying’ , I write this blog on my way back from NJ to Seattle after visiting my sister whom I met 18 months back. My mother fears her death so much because she fears of care takers and with me and my sister around she is not confident that we will be physically present as care takers since we have our careers. This book am reading is about a care taker who writes about her clients who die as she works as a care taker for the dying and discovering her own journey into herself. My family decided to put my father in a hospice because my mother cannot take care of my father who was dying from cancer and myself and my sister were supposed to go to work to support our family. I have seen the dead dying slowly and their silent cries in the hospice.  I look forward to volunteering in some elderly care homes and learn and experience life better so that letting  go is easy and how important it is to live for this moment.

July 12 2017:

I called Bha and told her that I remembered her a lot during my birthday in her favorite Guruvayurappan temple and wanted to speak to her. She believes in astrology and told me that she will not be alive in a few months from now and informed that she is looking for a part time job. My company treated her very badly after she served for more than 10 yrs  heading global HR Immigration and had fostered wonderful work relationships with embassies and she was a perfectionist who had 100% compliance, letters from American consulate would convey apology to her and visas were given and she proudly would show me the letters from embassy and photographs which she held dear to her . I accompanied her on her last day at work and walked with a few people until the gate and she dropped me home that day, she had employed a driver whom she considered as a younger brother and he was very loyal to her . she was kind to find him an employment since she was asked to leave her job and no longer had any income. I asked her if she needed anything and she said that she is fine and praying god daily thanking GOD for whatever GOD gave her and she is keeping everyone in her prayers. She told me she wanted to go to Kashi but her doctor refused saying she is prone to infections and hence she dropped the idea. Again , her optimism amazed me. I have tears in my eyes when I think of her death which is anticipating any moment. I have spent lots of time with her and tried to  understand why forgiveness,compassion,love and feeling good is important only when we come to know that we have very less time.

Posted 11th July 2017 by Anitha Babu

Labels: disease Dying Experiences

 

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JUN

19

The US of A

After 12 years , as I step in to the US of A, I wore the jeans which I bought in 2006 and walked into immigration answering a few questions of work permit. I greeted the famous musician A.R Rahman who stood in line ahead of me and walked past to collect my baggage and move ahead of my journey.

Meeting my friend S who lovingly stocked my kitchen in the hotel with a week's food and I walked down to my work daily . Long pine trees and showers and clouds that covered the sky looked like a confused mind yearning for clarity around the dark thoughts that hovers me.

Karma gave way to a mix of people and I decided to move in with a family and a lady both telugu speaking with a neighbourhood that has a mall filled with people and entertainment. I noticed that most of the telugu people speak in a raga.

The project which we were working had lots of issues on support and it can be handled well if people are given the liberty of speaking their needs/pain points.

So karma took me to two different people and it made me look within myself as a women. one prioritizes the family , the man and the child. Another lives in the present, adopted a child and then clears her clouded karma to give birth to a child. I remembered the book 'Karma and Reincarnation' by Pandit Tagmani Tigunait.

Have seen spiritual masters who dont hold anything for their own, but not a women in a family who gives herself totally for everyone. There is a aura which is magnetic around this person but one has to be careful because it may cause one to depend on each other.How do you define love? Unconditional and unbounded. Thats what I saw in this person . A mother in her that is alive but the women in her that is pulsating.

Driving was not easy because I didnt know rules but later got used to it. Work has kept me busy and lots of learnings.  Tall pine trees and wet roads and people covering themselves with jackets are common in summer too. Children cycle along , temples that serve sumptuous meal and indian groceries stores  connects to India.

Playing basket ball, shuttle and walking and watching shrubs and trees and little rabbits and small sparrows make me think am a cohabitant in this place where it rains 9 months in a year.

Lets see whats in store for me and where my karma takes me, eventually karma is meant to be burnt so that we go on with our next cycle.

Posted 19th June 2017 by Anitha Babu

Labels: Life Seattle US

 

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APR

16

Begum Jaan - Hindi Movie

If Vidhya balan could not get a National award for this movie, I will not bother because she has already captured a very high place in my heart. Does it not require Nerve to act in such a movie ?

It is written and directed by National Film Award-winning director Srijit Mukherji and produced by Mukesh Bhatt, Vishesh Bhatt and Play Entertainment.

she builds her own Koti with the help of Raja Maharaja and as Nature made its way Men fall for women, she establishes her family of women who rule that place . The way she carries herself and her compassion for a girl who is being brought after being raped by a few men, the way she gives instant relief for the young girl.

As a mother she nurtures them, as a sister she cuddles them , as a human she becomes much more than a human when she describes her definition for FREEDOM. Women are never free and out in the dark there is no caste or creed there is only pleasure and since its a shadow there is pain too, not known to many and felt only by being human.

Salim's(Sumit Nijawan) character deserves applause , for a women who doesn't trust any men Salim is an exception such is the faith of that man who is so very loyal to begum jaan. Girls Gauahar khan,Pallavi Sharda,Ridheema Tiwary,Raveena,Pooja all enjoy the freedom which they were given to  

them only in Begum's Koti.

The Plot involves independence of India and the land is divided into Pakistan and India and Begum's Koti lies right there on the line of partition between Pakistan and West Bengal(India). She is determined to die as a queen in her quote but not leave her place and sees her end by burning in her own quote, self esteem honoured. Im watching many films these days where the audience clap their hands at the end.

There is pain,anger, humiliation which is wiped by being a feminist. I liked when the teacher who teaches a child in her koti comes and confesses that he loves begum and she explains her that there is someone in her own koti who is madly in love with him and still trusts him, thats because she still strongly believes that someone can marry any of these women in her koti  and give them a good life and social status.

Anu Malik's music will pierce your soul and one can feel the pain. Songs are wonderfully penned.

Listen to the voice begum jaan which lingers for her courage.

PREM MEIN TORE AISI PADI MEIN

PURANA ZAMANA NAYA HO KAYA

YE KYA HO KAYA

KAB SAANS THAAMI , KAB SAANS CHHODI

HAR DARD MERA BAYAN HO GAYA

YE KYA HO KAYA PREM MEIN TORE

Haldi maali jo ghawpy thore,

Har zakham mera haara ho gya,

Yeh kya ho gaya..

http://vipsongspk.net/begum-jaan-2017-songs-download/

WOH SUBAH HAMESE ...

In bhooki pyaasi roohon par

Ik din tu karam pharmayegi

Woh subah hum hi se aayegi

Woh subah hum hi se aayegi

Maana ke abhi tere mere

Armano ki kimat kuch bhi nahin

Mitti ka bhi hai kuch mol magar

Insano ki keemat magar kuch bhi nahin

Insano ki izzat jab jhoothe

Sikko mein na toli jayegi

Posted 16th April 2017 by Anitha Babu

Labels: Independence Love Lust Vidhya Bala Womens Courage

 

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APR

15

कोण होऊं में - Hindi Poem

कोई केहता है इसे अजथि

कोई केहता अहंकार

कोई थो बोलता नहीं

आखों बोलती  सब

कोई थो बताएं मुझे

 कोण है वोह ...

मुझसे पूछें थो कोई

आकर बाट ले

मेरे दर्द भरी दिल

मेरी  वोह  तन्हाई

मेरी वोह आज़ादी

मुझे मुझको ढेढे ज़रा ....

Posted 15th April 2017 by Anitha Babu

Labels: Contemplating within Who am I

   

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MAR

6

LION - Movie

This movie was recommended by Geetha my friend.

Three children, two young boys and a small sister are raised by a mother who provides comfort to her children by working as a labourer carrying rocks. Guddu,Saroo and Sheila are children who are deprived of basic comfort yet they are happy. Im reminded of a tamil movie 'Kakka Muttai' where the slum boys have a desire to eat pizza and they gather money for it.

Saroo gets lost on his way with guddu who takes saroo along with him while going to work in a bustling railway station. Saroo must be 6-7 yrs of age and he gets into a train and the train stops in a station after 3 days, the child sleeps over and sustains with the remains of the food under the seats.

The survival instinct of the child is portrayed beautifully when the child decides to leave the house of a lady who nurtures him pitying his lost state and arranges for a tout who takes children for trades unknown and unheard of.

Fortune and Karma are like seasoning in a already preset path. Saroo lands up in a home where deepti Naval from a NGO comes to his rescue and decides to get him adopted by a Australian couple . Saroo is welcomed by the couple and time passes when another addition to the family his elder brother joins him ,adopted by the couple again.

The couple when adopting a boy decides to keep the same name 'Saroo' and do not change the name of the boy. I really appreciated this small gesture because the child needs that space , atleast the name which he is so used for the past 5-6 yrs can be spared and the mother beautifully gives that space. A lovely lesson and wonderfully pictured.

The australian lady speaks about her vision as a 12yr old girl where she visualizes a brown skinned child holding her hand and its so real for her and it eventually comes true in her life.

The rest of the story revolves around using google earth and trying to find the place from where he is lost, Ganesh Talai'. A little romance and trying to make terms with the family and his elder brother could have been better pictured. Australia is a beautiful place, some more nature and oceans can be pictured.

Finally Saroo meets his mother in Ganesh Talai and his adopted mother also meets the biological mother. Its a touching moment. Its a heavy story that can make you cry many times.I cried many times and what moved me deeply is when the mother shares her vision to her grown up son. she narrates a dialogue 'I want to give you a chance in the world'. Its a real life story and at the end one can watch the real characters in the real world.

Compassion moved me deeply. In a world where children dont attend to their parents and parents who neglect children , there are people with a motherly quality promoting inclusiveness in the divided society of different culture and belief systems and ecology. I kept crying when the lost is child, and I have a similar experience duing International yoga day June 24,2013. After the IDY session at Nandanam grounds , I came walking to the place where there were water pots to drink from and a small girl aged about 6 yrs was found. I grabbed her hand and moved towards the police booth in the grounds to find her parents and handover to them. A man came running towards me calling the name of the child and after enquiries I handed over the child. After 10 mts, the man came looking for me telling me that the child wants to see me and she has never asked like that. I asked the man to bring the child and he brought it to me, I holded her hand and the child refused to go to her father despite calling her many times. I told the child that someday I will come to her house and politely handed over to the father. Its very nostalgic as I write this.

I request you to watch the movie to understand why the movie was named 'LION'. There is a significance to the name which one will know towards the end of the movie.Im glad that I donated a few movie tickets to people whom I dont know  to promote inclusiveness.

About 80,000 children are lost in India and the Lion is doing their best to get them to their families. So please support the cause http://lionmovie.com/#charity.

Posted 6th March 2017 by Anitha Babu

Labels: emotions Inclusiveness Lost and Find Love Technology

 

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FEB

27

Yogeshwar Linga

I enroll myself as 897th participant for Yogeshwar Linga Consecretion because I have lot of self doubt ,inquiry within myself as to which is the right path, am I on the right path. I enrolled just to enhance my perception and break my limitations of endless fear I holded dear to me.

Like every other travel of mine, where unless I consciously shut myself off in the crowd my neighbour would invariably open up personal stories about them and walk away undisturbed leaving me depressed and filled with questions. I dont question when someone shares their experience , I give myself totally to listening and in the process I travel along with them. So this journey from chennai to coimbatore was filled with a Ramanuja bhakta who are forbidden from practicing any other belief ,fortunately their faith didnt stop them from practising yoga. The lady's innocence moved me but people eventually get nosy and after name introductions to the traveller who sits next to you , she asked the common question to me' How many children you have , please tell me your family?'. When I told her am single , she was worried about my mother and when we bid good byes she told me I can understand you are very unique ,special and I have not met anyone in this age and I know its difficult to find a person '. I just smiled and left to IYC.

The day starts walking 2.5 kms to the Ashram from stay area and sleeping inside a sleeping bag , my neighbours were Sruthi from Jaipur and another Pinky from Chandigarh a punjabi. Sruthi tells me that I should open myself to the angels around me with a lot of hesitation and told me she learnt how to be organised from me. I was invited to stay with her during the Jaipur literature festival, its one of my small dreams I have. Pinky had a contagious laughter and she goes to tell me her past life regression therapy and her own personal story leaving me in tears . Both are close to 50 yrs and we discussed about sadhguru,alternative sexuality and was surprised to see that sadhguru also speaks on the same topics during the consecretion ,the day we discussed. I also meet people who love food and people who handle Inner Engineering retreat programs to give a fresh way of looking at life because their life situations are very different from mine.

YLC was a beautiful experience and I could feel the 5 chakras from mooladhara until Agna. Few techniques to activate Agna using shanmukhi mudra put me to ecstatic states , I was jumping from the floor with my legs crossed, my body was not prepared to handle high energies . There was silence,bliss and energy pulsating.

After the consecretion, I switched on the phone and was raged on seeing the allegations against ISHA , I went all the way to tag someone on FB who posted wrong comments about ISHA without making an effort to know it. They untagged themselves but I was filled with self doubt, a rage that made me go to Devi temple, and dhyanalinga I sat for 1.5 hrs contemplating truth and if am on the right path, somehow I consciously knew that sadhguru was a true guru but there were somethings which I cannot find answers within, so I cried in ignorance and failure in my inability to know the truth and trust shaken just to find myself going deep rooted within me , I thanked sadhguru for shaking me up and testing my limits. I was not going to stop my practices no matter what happens and just keep going for the truth to unveil itself,

I was volunteering at registration counter from 11am until 10pm giving me good experience and walking about 2 kms to get my dinner which was MahaAnnadanam and walk back to Gate 1 , just to be blessed with a seating pass for Mahanathi and I go and sit closer to the stage and enjoy the music and being alone. I generally dont like to tag myself with anyone in ashram because am very impatient to wait for somone and I like to go and sit quiet and within myself and dont welcome anyone other than myself.

I decided to go early from the Mahashivarathiri grounds by 4am so that I can rest, the hot sun and volunteering made me tired but there was something burning within me. So I walk out from my seating place by 4am and by the time I reach the main road its close to 4.15/20 and am guided to walk about a km for the bus and I walk and I try to recollect the way from my hotel to make sure that I walk the right path to my destination.I walk with my torch light on ,its dark and after 30 mts of walking I find myself alone on the road with stars up on the sky , I walk chanting , there was something burning within me that could not be quenched. I walked more than 10 kms to come across a father and girl about 12 yrs of age walking along and I check with them if am on the right path and they tell me they belong to the same place where my hotel was and asked me to walk with them. so me and the little girl walk ahead with the father behind, many times I walked so fast to leave the girl and the father behind and I slowed down as they pointed me to the light where I could read the sign board of the hotel and I put my hands together and thanked them for guiding me and travelling with me.I felt the presence of my father strongly after the Mahashivarathiri night and the father who travelled me was guiding his daughter the same way my father was to me. He told me you have risked yourself by walking alone. But then, I have always had someone coming from the blue and helping me and walking away. I also felt strong presence of my Gurus, Sadhguru and Maha periyava and a musician. I was being guided whenever I was alone, in self doubt to discover about myself , the darker side of my fears. I was confronting my own fears but I learnt to be with this and keep going. So I move from Prayer to Presence. I truly felt the presence of my gurus and my father.

A hata yoga teacher Aarthi who did her Samyama with me, she quit her IT job and went on to become a Hata yoga teacher in ISHA, when I met her and we had dinner together and a young boy bumped on her and she said ' If you do your practices regularly, you will be free from conflicting relationships'. After I broke my ligament on ankle my practices took a toll, I recently started up after I engaged myself on a LCHF diet program and I can see the difference on my face after I finish my practice and have truly enjoyed it.

Reading Adi yogi book, there was one strong message for me ' Do not look up to anything , do not look down on anything'. The grandeur of the way Mahashivarthiri happened ,with lots of north indians and International participants and Modi our PM I was in self doubt if am on the right path, one way I felt it was like accumulating wealth,land and expansion and the on the other side constantly reminding myself 'You are nothing'. I remember what sadhguru says during the consecretion 'There is a flipside to everything', these twin perceptions of seeing things just the way they are , I felt kind of lost .  Im trying to hold on, hoping to become free someday. SHAMBHO! After all , am with ISHA based on my own authentic experience .

Posted 27th February 2017 by Anitha Babu

Labels: Consecretion ISHA Sadhguru

 

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FEB

13

RasLeela

O! Beloved my Krishna

Hidden amongst all

But I still long for you

will you not spare me

from the mad world

who looks for you in a idol

garlanding you with flowers

Are you not the aroma?

The flowers also are aware

When will you relieve me?

from myself and reveal you....

எண்னக்கள் யாவும் நீ

எண்ணமும் நீ

ஓடி ஒளிவதும் நீ

என் கண்களும் நீ

உன்னை கண்ட உடனே

நான் என்னும் என்னுள் நீயே...

Posted 13th February 2017 by Anitha Babu

Labels: Krishna Radhey Rasleela

 

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FEB

5

The Virgin - Series of Poems

An attempt on perception of  the Virginity and Virgin?

(1)

Untouched and radiant

Pure and Vibrant

Dark and shallow

Warmth within

Emptiness farrows..

(2):

Giving oneself in all

Not holding back

Longing and craving

Is there a love that lasts?

Pure and unadulterated..

(3):

Losing oneself to a masculine

Being a channel for life

Creators play of Nature

Seeing oneself within

Passage to the divine

(4):

Water and the Grass

Mountains and valleys

Rivers and Seas

Soil and Air

Fire within

conjoined within

In Music and Drama

Literature and Cinema

Food and People

Children and the Old

Am already Entwined...

(5):

From a child to adult

Ignorant as a Child

Let me be like the one

a child forever...

(6):

I lose myself

to bear another

I see you vanish

in the hands of time

on the name of virginity.. ( A child that is aborted in the womb)

(7):

Adorned with flowers

Worshiped and adulated

The divine within

oh! Mortal Souls

Let me be..

(8):

I submit myself

oh! My Lord

Serving the people

I light the lamp within

Spreading Joy

Resting in Prayer

Seeking Peace for all..

Posted 5th February 2017 by Anitha Babu

Labels: Virgin

 

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FEB

5

Kerala Literature Festival 2017 Kozhikode Beach

With lot of contemplation and no one known in the city , I booked my train and return flight tickets to Kozhikode because of the love for books ,Artists,Movies,Music and the vast beach which opens a sea of opportunities.

Kozhikode welcomed me at 4.50am on Feb 4th 2017 and I could easily spot a auto rickshaw who took me to my destination and I checked into a OYO room which I booked , being a cyber techie its relatively easy to plan the travel. My co-travellers at the train were 5 doctors who took me through their memory lane of how they got their medical admission and writing their anatomy exam and the flaws of medical books and how a medical student perceives a reading and what their 30-40 yrs of experience taught them , they even went to the extent of answers to certain questions. Most of them had their grand children and it was nice to listen them speak about the times they all spent together during early years of qualifying themselves as a doctor and very few spoke about their wives who went to temples and how the women indoctrinate the logical thinking of a man. What interested me was they discussed about spirituality and played videos which can be heard by the people beside their two seater berths. They all spoke superficially since they spoke logic and none spoke their experience. Any subject to be deeply understood must be experienced was my thought process and they all failed there because none of them meditated but they spoke about meditation and some never even prayed so they lost in touch with themselves, their only connect was patients and the tools which helped them treat the patients . I quietly observed as I always love to and wished that they get a patient which can help them connect with themselves. I slept only for a few hours and was awake watching the station since mine was a intermittent and not a destination of Mangalore express. Leila seth's autobiography kept me busy as I learnt about her childhood and the doctors tales juxtaposed with my reading ,but never I exchanged a word except small smiles to make them feel acknowledged of my presence.

Day 1:

My Day started with Mahaswetha Devi a documentary film , a large tent was built on the shores of kozhikode beach and it was made dark and the movie was projected using projector, the coordinator greeted me with a good morning and it was 9.45am.

By 11am I went to a session Body,Nature,Desire : In Women's Poetry  . How women perceive themselves in different ways when it comes to describing the body, Nature and Desire. Most of them perceived as motherliness and extending the care and women were not writing it in a way that convey erotica.

Science and Religion also gave some thoughts because of the logic and logic manifested into a faith , well moderated by Jeevan Job thomas and Maitreyan and others.

After my lunch with Geeta whom I met in Hindu Lit Fest at Chennai , we both went on our ways to explore more.

An Era of darkness &swimmer among the stars - Shashi Tharoor,Kanishk Tharoor in conversation with Meena T Pillai . The Tharoor's family writing books no longer excites me , they were given a plethora of choices since childhood and moulded to read and write . Tharoor's pride danced on the stage as the young kanishk honestly spoke about his growing up in newyork and reading books and tales he heard as a child had spread its wings in his new book.  It was a family time with audience permitted to understand how the tharoor's wrote,thought as a writer and parlimentarian.

Sexual Morality in Cyberspace Session was very uplifting because of the people who did the session. Parvathy a psychologist  ,Sangeetha Sreenivasan,CS Chandrika,KR Indira,VK Adarsh and moderated by NP Sajeesh. Parvathy quotes experiences where children are not taught about sexuality and how its suppressed and why cyber sex crimes is so prevalent and none of them wanted to see each other and meet other, issues were discussed openly and enough laws are not there to protect women.

The day closed with Science and Rational thought with genetic scientist Sam Santhosh with Maitreyan and moderated by Jeevan Job thomas . Sam worries about world becoming 25billion and how do we manage to get the resources and maitreyan criticises the scientists because of the politics in science where scientists themselves dont have control since they are sponsored by people with money.Creating model pigs for testing was brought in and consuming beef was also brought in the discussion. I liked the way malayali's address the issue and speak frankly .

We went and settled on a stone listening to the wonderful Shehnai by Nasir Abbas Khan and it calmed the mind as the cool breeze touched our body and the music our soul.

3 spaces were created with cloth and tent and a podium for the host. Ezthulola,Aksharam and Thoolika. I liked the space Ezhuthola because as I listened to the sessions, I can feel the warmth of the sun around 4-5 ready to set and one can smell the aroma of freshly made fries from banana,fish and mirchi and as the cloth walls along the sides of the spaces fly, one can see the road visible and some people buying TV and Bajji's from the road side vendor who made business because so many people could read and think.

Day 2: Sunrise in Kozhikode by 6.45am and a few nice clicks. I watched muslim women covering their head in black sitting in a circle and enjoying the morning sunrise and a few young men jogging and exercising. I simply sat on the beach to explore the waves and my thoughts thats nonstop like the waves ,lost in serenity .

Garaas - Short film by Sanju Surendran Story:Devadas where 4 young boys go to the beach and jump and throw themselves into the sea and back on the shore they are struck by the idea to drink and consume alcohol and one of them goes to the water again after consumption and he is lost drowning . The movie opens up well , 4 young boys recollecting an incident and decide to go to bar after 3 years of losing their friend, they never drank for 3 years and a group bullies them in the bar and they land up in police station where the inspector is the uncle of their lost friend and he teaches them a lesson and finally frees them , but then again they go into exploring the world. Its a award winning short film but I felt it was abstract.

Poetry The New Stirrings session highlighted new age poetry.

Myth and Novel - Sara Joseph ,KP Ramanunni,TD Ramakrishnan and others. I already fell in love with sarah joseph because of her way of thinking , i haven't read her and have copied to read . The conversations were waves hitting the shores making a rhythm of life. For the first time , am trying to understand the author and then read their book. I love the idea of this approach.

Painting,Sculpture,Cinema and Society - Leena Manimekalai had fun in this session by making fun of chennai and how people are conservative and her stories of rape victims can move anyone. she narrated real time events of women where their own families are no longer safe for them since 80-90% women  who were raped , were raped by their own family members, thats disturbing. Building spaces which promote these healthy discussions was evident in kerala but the need to have a space like lalit kala academy was highlighted by Bose.

Session closes with Sarah jose speaking her views on how a women still goes on washing the utensils and the under garments of a grown up son and how society and culture has failed to teach the younger boys to wash their own inner garments and describes that she taught this in her class , she implanted the thought within the boys in her class to take care of themselves. simply profound!

Calicut seems to be a muslim dominated region with beef biriyani all around and egg and chicken consumed as snacks .Tea and lemon juice was constantly serviced for a price.

What could have been better in KLF 2017:

For a whole lot of people who came to fest, I saw a muslim women bring her 3 yr old child and attending all sessions and dozing off in a session, both the mother and the child were fast asleep in a chair during a afternoon session.

1.Children's section must have been there, because the seed has to be sown at a very young age.

2.Art is a beautiful word, Indo European which means to fit together,skill as the google reads . Im against artists being tagged to success and failure and monetary benefits. An Artist is seen only by his/her work and it should never be subjected to comparisons, the DC books which had a book exhibition finally made me buy 3 books , 2 of them Sarah Joseph since her best works were translated into english , I felt its worth buying since I don't know to read malayalam and she is a fine writer .

3.Art sensitizes people it can invoke love,passion,compassion and many other emotions. Such an Art when accessed by people should maintain the cleanliness. The students and the public simply threw garbage all over ,  I felt art was abused in KLF 2017. For me, if I go deep and sensitize something I wish to keep it clean and maintain the sanctity of that place. What is the use of being a communist when you cannot stop to litter your own space for which you are fighting?

4.Not enough volunteers to guide first timers like me and there should have been a counter for outstation registrations where people can feel comfy with the pulse of the communal calicut.

5.There could have been a blog in english so that people who cannot follow malayalam can read in english. Blog which takes notes of the sessions and are posted online immediately.

6.Some sessions can be made live on FB instead of posting videos later on.

What was best:

1.Youngsters were readers and communists , its relatively easy to see them with boards asking justice for a girl found dead in pune in an IT company . In TN, never before it has happened until recently for jallikattu.

2.Film students and journalists and photographers were sensible in their approach for photography and screening short films as part of literature is a welcome measure.

3.Every other muslim women was free to come and participate in such a session and exchange thoughts and ideas and read and explore and meet writers and know the writers mind.

4. I didn't find any celebrities who came up dressed that can exhibit their richness or success . It felt like humans connecting to humans with the nature witnessing it, the beach.

To come for this fest, I had a tough time convincing my mother. I cannot thank my friend Geeta and my mother for giving me this opportunity to see the kerala which I have only heard and writers from all over the world and never been to a place where democracy,sexual minorities,sexual morality in cyber space are spoken on stage with over a few hundred people listening and asking questions .

Catch up: https://www.facebook.com/pg/keralaliteraturefestival/posts/?ref=page_internal

Readings gives me imagination and Travel gives me experience - I look forward to more literature festivals and thoughts and thinkers and students who can make it better overtime.

My next blog will be a poetry on Virginity and thoughts on that. Different views of looking at virginity.

Posted 5th February 2017 by Anitha Babu

Labels: KFL 2017

 

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JAN

14

Shoots,Leaves and Much More

The picture above is the tree which was cut off because its branches broke during the recent cyclone at chennai in december 2016. As I hurriedly take my car to leave for work from the parking lot ,I spotted these shoots from the bare tree which I failed to observe until then. So I parked my car, enjoyed every leaf that's sprouting and took a snap to write about it and savor it since it reminded me of many things.

What does the picture convey?

A perspective as a poem

From a seed into a strong tree

I grew day by day

Taking light and water

Marking my presence in earth

Strong enough to stand the test

A cyclone just broke me off

I stood naked firmly on the ground

My roots can reach the water

oh! Mankind Awake

Look at me and ponder

For am the one who survived

gusty winds making roars

With every cut I promise to rise

Every shoot communicates with all

Am I beautiful just to be pictured

Look deeply am full of life

because am rooted to the ground

Falling from a altitude

Standing apart alone

Fresh shoots resounds life

Fulfilling and longing

Embrace me now

Not after I wither ..

Posted 14th January 2017 by Anitha Babu

Labels: Cyclone Inspiration Shoots

 

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JAN

8

Art .... Introspection

Chennai fills itself with carnatic music ,food,dance performances and theater. Thousands flock and enjoy, learn and share experiences.

What art can give you?

Any performer who sings,dances,theater or instrumentalists ,musicians,lyricist can witness them along with their loved ones.

I come from a profession where my parents do not get to see the quality work I deliver at office, how I re-skill myself nor how I contribute my learning to teach or just be a mentor and develop good solutions with a team of youngsters from college. I just bring in good pay that is more than sufficient.

Somewhere I found this today when I went to a concert of a artist whom I know .The artists parents were sitting in the front row and I saw the joy in their eyes and so as the artist who sang very beautifully. The best gift a child can give to its parent so it become accomplished in their chosen career.

I think every IT professional can understand what I write here. As we age and gather experience in IT, we become a high cost resource unlike in any other art form as you gather experience, one is valued .

Posted 8th January 2017 by Anitha Babu

 

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DEC

10

Relections 2016

As every year passes by it leaves one with Memories of emotions. Lets see how did 2016 go for me?

January went on by hangover from floods,with help still in need with respect to bringing back life to normalcy. A few musical concerts did happen, some musicans were coping up and some on their journey to the year ahead and some declared they will go mute this season.

From February, slowly things started settling and my sister was preparing to leave to US and her house which was flooded in the rains, was cleaned ,swept and deep cleansed professionally for them to start living. She left to california by march .

March and April were busy preoccupied with Shambho since the child was with us and my Brother inlaw broke his collar bone and was resting with his travel to US posponed.

Summer is always beautiful because of the yearly trip I make with MU, we go to swami Thyagaraja's birth place and sing in his house on his star birthday every year.I long for this every year and wait like a flower that will blossom only during April/May.

May June went by periodic visits to my apt at kodambakkam for vacating the tough tenant and I had to go to police station to file a complaint against him. I got the keys on my birthday on July 2, I felt what it means to have a house and how one should count the blessings rather than think it as a curse. I didnt have any attachment to the apt I owned because my father was diagnosed with cancer within months of relocating to chennai from our hometown vellore and he passed away, somehow mentally it had struck deep within that the house was not too very lucky.

But we got our sister married in my house and shambho was born here , I got a good job offer in a MNC and most importantly,Sadhguru's sannidhi was brought to my house and I live in the same room where sannidhi is kept.

So a big lesson, always count your blessings rather than the past experiences. Many people dont even have a house. so I sincerely thank GOD for granting me a shelter of my own.

IDY(International day of Yoga) added more experience to myself and I organized a couple of sessions at work from ISHA Yoga.

August ,September went by occupied with work and October November with my aunt diagnosed with cancer , I went in search of medicine and now she is in her 5th chemo and awaiting the 6th and the last one. November also made us realize the importance of money due to demonetization and much time was wasted by standing on ATM queue's.  By December 10,  my US trip is confirmed and I dont know what will be my role in the projec

Art of Letting go:

I was asked to take over a new skill and build competence on that, I hired two freshers for this job and worked with them. Vignesh and Jana. Vignesh went in to prove the best candidate , I used to give him ideas to build solutions to enhance user experience. All my ideas were built by him and he is the 5th position on the SAP global Personas Leadership Forum, he is of age 22 years.

I never boosted myself but gave accolades to my team and soon our solutions were labelled 'OUT OF THE BOX'. We did many things which SAP also didnt imagine.My creativity was at the peak and my team and me spent several house discussing solutions making things look good and evolving our dashboards.

My boss started quoting my name on the meetings asking others to take best practices from me. I didnt follow any best practice, I just gave myself fully and I was blessed with wonderful coders.

Envy and jealously was predominant and one fine day I was asked to break the team and my team was to be handed over to a mobile application development project. I fought a lot,resisted but then one day when I was working a thought came, Am I spiritual? How can I be spiritual if am not able to let go of people and things?  I realised my limitation of emotional bonding with my team and what we had achieved in less than a year's time , that fame and success blinded me but my goal was to take my company to the number 1 from number 5. Among the top 10 global leaders for my skill, 9 people are from SAP company itself, we were the only Indian company and people listed as leaders have average experience 20+yrs and vignesh was just 22 yrs of age backed up by my ideas.

The moment I realized that am not letting go of my team, the next day I told my boss that I will break my team. They are moved to bangalore now for a better project and Im left to fend myself and am handling 3 competencies .

December:

By December a large number of people have requested me to teach meditation at work. The location council was keen since its a target for them and am someone who cannot teach meditation for a corporate target. I told them that if they give a decent space ,clean and tidy, we can have one and am sure they will not come back with my requirements.

We finally moved to my own apartment, I carved a name plate by name 'ANITHA BABU' and hung it on my main door, I felt too egoistic initially but then this thought of having a name board never occurred so mentally I was healed because I filled myself with gratitude overcoming my bitter past experience with my tenant and my losing my father.

The highly respectful job title when I move to US will have to be let gone, I will be moved as normal developer may be or I might get some role. GOD's plans... Who am I to question?

 As everyone has Up's and Down's , I have seen the UP and Down. So Im just praying to the GOD and my guru's that come what may, help me remain within myself, let me always be rooted to the divine and my GURU's.

So two big lessons in 2016 - Being Thankful for what one owns/has and Art of Letting go.

Posted 10th December 2016 by Anitha Babu

Labels: Experiences Learning Time

 

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NOV

15

Smart Kutcheri's and IOT (Internet of Things)

I have not been programming since last year and my recent workshop on IOT from SAP made me think about this concept and blog , the creative side within me. My area of interest is in design thinking and User Experience and I look forward to work with developers who can help me build these solutions.

We are all awaiting for the Margazhi Kutcheri season filled with music,people,food and festive mood. Dance and drama will follow after New year. Time to rejuvenate.

 I have missed so many music concerts of my favorite artists.

What is IOT?(Internet of Things)

IOT -> SENSE-> ANALYZE->ACTION . These are the 3 steps that IOT will do.Sensors are hardware devices that can be plugged to power source and can be connected via WIFI. Their drivers and software needed to recognize these sensors have to be installed in the computer on which one can develop code and logic for suitable action and they can be deployed on mobile phones as mobile Applications(Mobile App).

All mobile phones have sensors , example gyroscope. Apple phones have the best sensors.

Concept of Smart Kutcheris:

Ideation:

I'm aware of a couple of artists who are very aesthetic, they would prefer to have the lighting and ambience and sound decibels to be set in where they sing or play their instruments.

Prerequisites:

1. Develop a Mobile application to control Light and Sound.

2.An Artist will have the mobile application installed in their phone(Android/IOS) .

3.Light and Sound sensors to be embedded on speakers and lights.

4.A hall which is smart enough and equipped with smart lights and smart sound and AC that can be controlled by mobile.

How it works:

An  Artist who is a singer will have the mobile app installed and when on stage they can set the ambience right, by reducing the luminosity  of the light and can control sound and also can control AC in the hall.

An artist who is an instrumentalist, can have sensors embedded in the instrument which will act like a sruthi box to tune to that frequency they desire , which will tell them that this is the frequency the instrument is tuned in and they can also use the mobile app to control brightness of lamps,sound and temperature.

Lets go a step further in this Use case I have imagined for Smart Kutcheris.

I have never watched and rejoiced Smt.MS Subbulakshmi when she was alive , so I will use a VR(Virtual Reality) device and when  I play MS Amma's song , I can see her sitting right in front of me and singing it as if it were live.  The next generation will never miss the legends at least on Virtual reality. To top some more imagination to it, whichever direction I turn I can see her virtual moving image on that direction.

And one  can make it a Augmented Reality which is offered by Microsoft Holo lens then you can add more artists beside the vocal artists for violin,mirudangam,Kanjira etc depending on the instruments used in the music you are listening and you can also add some more AR to it like lighting etc.

At the end of the kutcheri, audience can post feedback on the mobile app on their phones while they leave and by the time the artist reaches home , the feedback data is analyzed and presented graphically or musically to the artist who performed.

There are lot more inventions like google's smart lens which can be used to enhance vision and control diabetes,that can take videos at the blink of an eye,lens which can make you see everything in pitch darkness used by US army. These lens are resistive to heat,water and dust.

One can control almost anything with the help of IOT but to control one's mind, one has to consistently practice meditation(Anita's Theory).

My idea was dismissed on the workshop citing advanced thinking:

My idea was to build a glass worn by people who have power on the eye , the sensor will detect the change in power and send notifications to the lens manufactures for procuring new lens and also book a doctor appoint with an opthalmologist to check eye power manually. This will avoid health hazards for the eye.

Sounds Cool right... Its been on my mind from last week and I look forward to becoming more aware and not to use Smart gadgets and smart phones . But the next generation is going to use IOT extensively and thats the reason of the birth of this blog.

Posted 15th November 2016 by Anitha Babu

Labels: IOT Smart Kutcheri Technology

 

2  View comments

OCT

24

My Quiet Moments

I have been working in IT for about 15 years now, have handled big roles and my karma took me places . I have had north indian bosses, boss from a govt.school with a sucking attitude and boss who is really a thinker but cannot communicate well to the team and never had a women boss.

I have had men reporting to me whom I have blasted for asking rewards for work and men trying to be more curious about my singleton status so I had to be prudent always and I enjoyed being it that way. A few months back I was offered a assignment in Copenhagen this year for about 3 weeks and my boss in an attempt to being sensitive to women's feeling and thinking of women empowerment said I had a small kid and I cannot take the assignment until I consult my husband. I remained quiet on the call , I could not talk back saying that I didn't have a family and am single spared by a mother who cannot be left alone. Eventually, that opportunity didn't come through. I wanted to call my boss and tell him that    if you don't know about me atleast stop imagining  and make an attempt to know me.

Today I had my annual appraisal discussion and my boss told me that I had to revisit my goals and restructure them and I have lots of work to do in future and asked for a plan with a 360 degree gap analysis of a competency that I lead. My data charts needs to be ready by next week . I gave my explanations,  but still my boss wanted a plan, I was given freshers with whom am supposed to extract work and shape a IT service offering. sometimes in some streams of work am responsible for, I don't have anyone other than me to support. Im already over loaded, and my mind works more, thats why I really enjoy my meditation twice a day. some points were appreciated finally, I get a break. Im compared with a women who is 53+ yrs who got her daughter recently married and asked to manage multiple things.

I have worked in MNC's where women are hired by men leaders to retain their position, because the policy states a must of 5% women reportees to a leader who is a man , so he had to empower women with no choice. There were conversations on the lunch table today with leadership team claiming that US does not want a women leader. I didn't know what kind of message they are giving us to women on the table. I was quiet again, chewing my food, partly mindful. Is this not harassment and my proud leader says in US, still many women do donkey loads. I was like Mind you, you have daughter  and think about empowering women, because whatever you do goes to your heir both good and bad.

Another women leader about 50+ yrs almost broke down after her one on one discussion with our men leader , she was refused promotion for 3 years and we both are in the same designation, she feels humiliated when the leader asked for a report. I had to counsel her telling its very important to maintain a work dairy to know what work we have done so far and also to protect us from any allegations people can put on us at work on the name of performance.

With no direction,guidance,mentorship I don't see any roadmap for women, its only we who have to carve them . Wish more business women leaders emerge and I also have my fair share of pie. Its not a ask, well I think it should be taken.

Everyone judges, one is always measured , calibre is tested, limits are stretched to find the tolerance levels.

Enough of Karma loads, still lots to unload... Save me my GOD...

Wishing for a 3 day silence and simply sitting and breath watching.